Keeping Up the Appearances of a Blog

2006-12-19T13:28:00.000-08:00

Christmas so far....

This is my checklist and as you can see things are still left undone as of today.

1. Put up tree= done
2. Put up outdoor lights (make spouse put up outdoor lights as you would set house on fire)=done
3. Put up mantel decorations=done
4. Bake cookies=not even started
5. Presents=all done but 3 people
6. Watch my favorite Christmas movies=watched 2 out of 4
7. Wrap all packages in boxes=resorted to half boxes half bags, I guess I'm lazy!
8. Send out Christmas cards with cute photo of animals or house or something representative of us=had to send out boxed cards as ran out of time to take photo and accomplish my cute photo cards.
9. Wear pretty red sweater with black floral design=done but I think its time to get a new Christmas look...
10. Give spouse a hard time about his dislike of 3 very prominent Christmas songs=done (I enjoyed this part a little too much and play these 3 songs in car with him as much as possible, oh what are the songs you ask, here they are in list of dislike:
-Little Drummerboy
-12 days of Christmas
-Mary did you know (he says yes she knew...J/K!!)
11. Plan super cool New Years Eve events=so not even thought about it yet!!

So anyways I have a long way to go but I'm getting there!!

2006-11-28T09:35:00.000-08:00

THANKSGIVING BY MY NUMBERS...

-number of fried turkeys fried:2
-number of pieces of turkey that the kittens managed to get to: 1
-number of times I said I didn't want to go to my Grandad's house:10,000
-number of hours to get to Virginia:3
-number of times I sang "Happy Holidays" to my husband: 23
-number of aunts and uncles consuming lots of alcohol to drown out family drama:4
-number of cousins who went to Wal-mart in the mountains at midnight:4
-number of stained glass windows looted from my grandparents house:4
-number of times my husband went out on the roof to get one of the stain glassed windows down because the window was locked:1
-number of quilts looted from my grandparents house:10
-number of trips to ABC store:1
-number of times Grandaddy called us to tell us he would be late to Thanksgiving dinner:2
-number of times Grandaddy's fiance looked mean and hateful:20,000

**There that sums it up, and in case you didn't know my Grandaddy's getting re-married to a new lady he's only known for 2 months and we don't know anything about her so yes we were all looting my Grandmother's things......GREAT TIMES!! And yes I'm working through the whole being angry thing as you can tell.....

2006-11-20T13:04:00.000-08:00

"O.J. Simpson book, TV special canceled"

I am proud to be an American today!!!

2006-11-16T13:30:00.000-08:00

I'm begging every American....

Please do not watch the OJ Simpson interview on tv and please do not buy his stupid book. Please spend the precious hours and minutes contributing something useful and good to your life or society. I am making the promise to myself that I will not spend another second even listening to radio talking about it, I know kind of ironic that I'm blogging about it but it ends here, no more OJ!!

2006-11-08T13:49:00.000-08:00

My gripe of the day...

While in the office today, while having a purely crappy day from you know where, the radio has the audacity to play "What a wonderful world." Now usually I love this song but today I wanted to pull the phone up and call it a big fat liar, its not a wonderful world, I'm stuck at work and I HATE it today....anyways I got over it. I find it very humorous at times what I'm dealing with at work and what they choose to play on the radio at that very moment in time. If you have a crappy radio station on at work you see how this applies!!

2006-10-30T04:51:00.000-08:00

Falling back...

Fall is by far my most favorite time of year. I love the smell of the air, wearing sweaters and jeans and all the fall decorations. And I would never think I would say this but I love football season! But we'll get back to that. Yesterday I was in a cooking mood and because my great in-laws grew a pumpkin patch this year, I have an abundant supply of cooking pumpkins. So I cooked them, scooped out all the wonderful pumpkin filling and made my friend's recipe for some delicious cookies. (thanks Kari!) I still have to make my pies but I think the cookies will do for this week!!
So lately our Sunday routine has revolved around eating lunch while watching the Panthers football game, well yesterday they played late so our whole afternoon was a little off. That is so funny to me to think that my Sunday afternoon was weird because of a football game but the truth is I have actually grown really fond of coming home from church and putting on some sweats and eating lunch and watching the game. There's something very conforting about it all, I actually look forward to it!! So that is why yesterday I decided to bake.....

2006-10-18T05:46:00.001-07:00

What is the deal??

I haven't been on this earth relatively long and I count myself to be very blessed that in the time I have been alive that I haven't had much family drama. I mean no family is perfect and you are going to have an uncle here or there who is just plain weird and you're going to have a bitter old grandma who every once in a while is going to tell you that you're getting fat. But thank God I've never had situtations that are just jaw-dropping....until last weekend. And what is funny about it all is that the person who is acting like a complete child is none other than my grandfather.
I am not going to go into details but lets just say that when your Grandad makes it a huge deal for everyone in the family to meet his girlfriends then one day out of the blue you find out he's engaged to be married to someone NONE of us have met and that he has only dated for 3 weeks you might be a little suprised. My mom and my aunts are pretty much handling the drama of it all because believe me the whole thing could be a made for tv movie but as far as I'm concerned its like seeing one of your heroes doing something incredibly stupid and not caring anymore what you think. To be honest, I'm kind of hurt. Not because he's getting married again but the way he did it and kept it such a secret and other things that I will not go into. So I'm just praying that things will work themselves out and that this drama ends very soon.
On a sillier note, who ever knew that the yellow rice that comes in those great gold packages at the grocery store might as well be yellow paint. I spilled some on one of my t-shirts last night and did everything I could do to get it off with no results. I am starting to think that something that leaves a stain that bad on my shirt may not be so good for my stomach.....anyways just my lesson for the day...

2006-10-18T05:46:00.000-07:00

2006-09-27T13:43:00.000-07:00

"I can't help it honey, you're that much a part of me now..."

Sunday marked my one year wedding anniversary and I can't believe its already been that long! So many lessons learned and honestly it was a great first year. Did we fight, yes. Did we learn to live with each other, yes. Did we have some pretty darn good times, yes. And from this first year I can see how we have turned from just a couple into an actual family. And I'm also learning how God uses marriage in so many ways to teach us about unconditional love and support and unity. And I'm so thankful for that and for all the blessings God's given us this year. I look forward to coming home to "our" house and "our" animals and just being with my husband. And I don't ever want to forget this time.....

2006-09-05T13:47:00.000-07:00

My top 10 favorite 90210 moments....in honor of yesterday's soapnetwork marathon.

10. Donna's boyfriend Ray pushing her down the stairs in Palm Springs. Greatest fake fall ever!!
9. Brenda getting arrested for letting animals out of the test lab at CU. She was so political huh?
8. David Silver playing that fake keyboard and singing that awful song that got put on like a deodorant commercial.
7. Brandon's crazy girlfriend Emily Valentine burning the "gangs" homecoming float and wearing Brandon's favorite jersey all around town. I loved that girl.
6. Val always smoking her weed outside the window and getting busted, plus leaving it in her car for Brandon to get busted for later..
5. Kelly on drugs! Need I say more?
4. Andrea Zuckerman getting it on with her teacher!! After she finally had a love life she up and left the darn show!
3. Donna and all her stalkers! I mean the first one that tried to kill her I kind of bought but when they used the same storyline again?? Who stalks Tori Spelling???
2. Steve finally getting married to someone not stupid or ugly. I actually kind of enjoyed him getting married, it was kind of sweet!
1. The best storyline ever was......Dylan marrying the daughter of the mobster that killed his dad then when she got shot because the killers thought she was Dylan and him pulling her out of the Porshe in the pouring rain, nothing beats that moment!!

Ok now that you are extremely bored to pieces I promise no more!!!

2006-08-30T06:52:00.000-07:00

Shows that I am loving right now!

1. No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain-this comes on the travel channel and I love, love, love his take on visiting some of the greatest cities in the world.
2. Dirty Jobs-the host totally makes this show and plus it really makes me appreciate the fact that I don't have a dirty job
~on a side note, I think the reason I especially love these two shows is because both of the hosts remind me a lot of my hubby, overly sarcastic but with a heart of gold. Plus they are both tall and skinny.......
3. Gilmore Girls-I am finally a fan, I would occasionally watch but now that it comes on twice a day on ABC family I have caught up and I am in love with all the characters.
4. Dog the Bounty Hunter-yes its cheesy as hell but I just can't get enough of the 80's outfits and prayer time before going to hunt down a fugitive and calling him a mother-f#*@%. Love it!!
5. Beverly Hills 90210 on the soap network!!-when I found out we got this channel free for the next month I about had a party. 90210 on for 2 hours each day plus 5 hours on Saturday, plus a Labor Day marathon on Monday....can we say heaven?!! I will promise to do my all time favorite 90210 moments on a different post!!!

Shows that I have tried to love but CAN'T

1. Laguna Beach season 3-the characters this season seem overly evil or something, and none of them are even remotely good looking or funny. Seriously the show jumped the shark when LC got her own show...
2. 24-I know its suppossed to be great and all but I don't like shows that you have to watch each week or you are lost beyond belief. So count me out.
3. Lost-I am lost watching this. And you know ABC is going to make it somehow suck at the end so fans beware!!
4. America's Got Talent-I'm sure they do but didn't they already cover the whole singing part of it with a show called American Idol???
5. Big Brother All Star-This show is so dumb I don't even want to comment

2006-08-28T06:35:00.000-07:00

My former self

I found out recently that I almost had a run-in at a church party youth home-coming type thing with my ex boyfriend. You know the one who broke my heart in a 100 pieces! Doesn't everyone have one of those?? Anyways what was funny about the whole situation is that number one he didn't show when he RSVP'd and that my mother knew about him coming and chose not to tell me because her reasoning was that I am a grown adult now. What?? I've been thinking a lot about this whole situation and I'm not afraid or wierded out by talking to him, what I'm afraid of is re-visiting my old self. I'm afraid of going back down memory lane because I didn't like myself when I was with him. Its funny how it totally has nothing to do with him it has to do with me. I owe that boy like a million apologies for a lot of behaviors that he had to deal with, but we were in high school and early college so some of it is expected but I behaved in ways looking back I am extremely embarrased about. So seeing him would remind me of that old person, and that was what I was scared about. So I think the whole experience of me spending some good time recently thinking about how you grow up and change over the years and try to become the greatest you that you can be has really been good for me. I'm not where I want to be but by golly I have come so far from where I was then.

2006-08-21T06:30:00.000-07:00

I wish the answers were that simple....

So I am in the mood to rant. I love Sunday School because it gives everyone a chance to really discuss issues with a peer group your own age. However yesterday me and my hubby felt kind of like rebel thinkers yesterday and here is why. First of all we had a new couple, yesterday was homecoming at church and apparently the man was a former pasters kid. So my hubby and another girl take turns teaching the lesson, well somehow the visitor guy gets off on a tangent about how basically everything has went to hell in a handbasket since they took prayer out of school....and thus begins my tirade. Me and husband both pretty much feel the same way. It would be great to blame all of our country's problems on one thing but its not that simple. Yes I agree taking prayer out of school probably wasn't such a great idea but it happened. Its time to move on. I went to public schools in a fairly big city. I had Hindu teachers, Jewish teachers and God only knows what other kinds of teachers. Now thinking back do I really want these people teaching anyone about their religious beliefs??? Absolutely not because to me religion is something that should be taught at HOME, its a personal responsibility of parents to make sure that our children know who God is and what Jesus did for us. Its not a school teachers job. And I also get furious when I hear older adults saying that Jesus isn't in public schools anymore. I went to Christian clubs in High School and as far as I know it wasn't that big a deal. And if you are so against public schools and all I hear there is this great new invention called Christian School. I'm sure your child will be safe there. As you can tell I have issues with people who slam public school systems. I want talk about that today.....but I am a huge believer in how public school is the greatest way to prepare kids for the actual kinds of people that live in the real world. That there are other people who gasp, were raised in a different faith and culture.
So back to my rant. I understand we have had school shootings and such since prayer was taken out of school but to me seriously the issue isn't just that. I've read enough news articles and such on the types of students who have performed school shootings and one thing is key, they weren't excepted and were made to feel like outcasts. And the fact that obviously there were some home issues that allowed these kids easy access to guns without their parents really knowing whats going on. I guess my whole point is that I would love to put all the blame on a decision made years ago but I think its more a personal responsibility issue and a moral decline in how we treat others. But sure whatever its that prayer in school thing.....oh and if you are interested no I did not bring up any of this in my Sunday School class not because I was afraid but because I didn't know if people would understand what I was getting at. And so yes me and my hubby sat there and just listened and then came home and talked about it all. I guess I was scared that people would not be able to do a little thinking outside the box and look at things from another perspective not just the Southern Baptist perspective that you are probably against Jesus if you are against prayer in school.

2006-08-15T11:54:00.000-07:00

Barbies for Barbee

One night last week my parents dropped off a couple of boxes of my old barbie dolls. They were cleaning out their basement closet and decided it was time for me to have them back. My dads thinking behind this was that his mom threw away all of his old toys and he didn't want to do that to me. So on Sunday I finally went through them. My first thought was selling some of them and the clothes on Ebay but after going through them I realized I just could not. I cut most of their hair because I was determined to make them look better. And some of them still had on the great 80's themed outfits I had put together. Leggins under hot pink mini skirts with a bikini top. I was some little fashionista!

I remember going over to my Grandmother's house and her still having one barbie left from my mom and aunts and thinking how cool that Barbie doll was so I think I will save these for my own little Barbee doll one day....and if I have boys then my husband's He-man collection will have to do for them.

2006-08-11T12:02:00.000-07:00

Sugar Babies in the dark!

Last night is one of the reasons why I love living where I do. My hubby had gone to help his dad until after dark. I started hearing the thunder and lightening approaching and went outside to see where it was at. Because we basically have an open field with trees way off in the distance we get to see storms approaching. Well by the time I went outside J had come home with a home grown watermelon!! We sat in the dark on our front porch and ate our watermelon and watched the lightening and storm coming closer and closer. We finally went inside when the lightening was starting to get closer. But you forget as an adult that summer is fun and filled with watermelons and ice cream and breezes at night only. And because work for both of us has been so crazy and its been so hot it was nice to feel like a big kid again and finally enjoy summer.

2006-07-26T09:49:00.000-07:00

The unfortunate first.....

I found out this past weekend that one of my friends and her husband are splitting. This makes number one and I'm praying it ends here. I know all the statistics and all but when it hits home like this it hits home hard. I grew up with this girl and it really breaks my heart that she is going through all this. I'm not even sure where I'm going with all of this except to say that all things happen for a very specific reason and I'm living proof of that so I know that things can work out in whatever way they need to work out. I just never thought the first divorce would happen so soon. And can I say thanks to my husband who last night after hearing about that and some other disturbing news tried his best to keep me laughing and cooked dinner with me because he knew there would be tears on the food if he didn't....

2006-07-17T08:50:00.000-07:00

The wasp, the skunk, and the wine bottle....

Yesterday was a simply crazy day. It didn't start off so crazy, just got that way around 5:30pm when I was taking groceries in the back door and a wasp decided to sting the upper part of my right arm. My body reacts really funky to any type of bug bite so needless to say my entire arm felt like it was paralyzed and it hurt. My nice husband helped me wrap it up in an ice pack and then went on a wasp killing rampage because they had built nests between our screen door and the frame.

Because my arm hurt and I was getting sleepy from the pain medicine I took I stayed inside for the rest of the night. My husband took our dog on a walk up to his parents house and in the woods in between he said he looked down and saw what he thought was our cat. When our dog went to smell it he said he heard this whoosh sound and then understood this wasn't our cat but a skunk!! So he came home smelling great. So he took a bath and washed his clothes, luckily he didn't get sprayed directly....

And as far as the bottle of wine goes, I just bought some and since I was sad about my arm and was on pain meds I thought it would be a terrific idea if I drank some before bedtime which couldn't have come sooner, I was in bed by 10pm....

2006-07-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

PEACH COBBLER DISASTER 2006

So yesterday at lunch I decided I would make a peach cobbler since my brother-in-law had so graciously given us some fresh peaches. I love to bake any kind of deserts so I got out all my great new cookbooks from our wedding and was all ready to find the best recipe. Did I choose the easy recipe that was actually in our church cookbook AND the one from my mother-in-law?? Oh no, I chose one that had a cool sugar glaze before you even put the flour mixture on top. It didn't look that difficult! And it wouldn't have been except several new mishaps happened in my kitchen yesterday. For starters I opened up the bag of flour and yes this is disgusting but there were bugs in my flour!! It wasn't even that old but I guess thats what I get! So after having to go get new flour I was once again ready to go. So for this glaze part I had to heat a whole stick of margarine and all this sugar to a boil. Easy huh? Well I don't think the recipe counted on me turning the burner on high and burning all the sugar before it even touched the margarine. So I had to pour all that out. Round 2 with the glaze I was more careful however in me being so careful I grabbed a big silver spoon to stir the pot with, well we have aluminum pots which means you can only use silicone type utensils. So now I had bits of the pan coating all in my glaze that I had to dig out......yes not my day in the kitchen! I finally did get it all together and shoved the thing in the oven. It was good but after all the mishaps I hate to admit it but I was mad at the cobbler and decided to punish it by only having a spoonful. But today I am not so mad so maybe I'll have a little more....

2006-07-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

"They used all the influence they could muster to keep their kids out of trouble."

I have always been really interested in the Columbine High School shootings. It could be because I watched most of it unfold from my room at UNCG in between classes. It has always just tugged at my heart because I am the type of person who wants to know how on earth two boys could become such killers. Today they have realeased the journals of the shooters as well as one of the father's of the shooters. The father's journal details a long history of trouble that his son was in. After hearing about it one of the victim's father's realeased the above quote that I find so interesting and part of a whole culture we have become in the US of letting our kids pretty much do whatever they want.
My mother was a third grade teacher. She cared for her students and actually gave them bad grades when they deserved it and actually made them take responsibility for bad behavior in her class. I can't tell you the nights she came home in tears or had parents hang up on her because she took the time to care enough to want them to do better. Some of her parents would actually try to go above her head and tell the principal she was unfair because their son/daughter received a bad grade even though they deserved it. I hated it for her but one thing I have learned about my mother is that it takes more love and effort to discipline than it does to just ignore problems.
We kept my nephews the other day. They are 4 and 2 and my husband bless his heart has just never been around small kids a whole lot in his life. He told me that he really hopes our kids turn out well and he was asking about how can parents really guarantee that you do all this work that your kids won't turn out to be rotten individuals. My answer and I really can't give anyone a very justified opinion because I am not a parent yet, was that its a job. It's a serious job that requires WORK, you have to stay on them and tell them no and not be their friend. My mother sure wasn't my friend growing up, she is now and is actually probably my best friend. So I am just praying that parents everywhere would not be afraid to say no and notice when your kids are in trouble because it could be your kid thats dodging bullets in the hallway and that just isn't acceptable to me anymore.

2006-06-20T12:36:00.000-07:00

He's back....

Thanks to everyone who prayed for our dog to come home. Well he did!!! We had went to my Grandfather's house in the mountains for the weekend and on Sunday morning my mother-in-law called with the good news. Apparently he just showed up at the house across the street from our church. And since we live out in the country word had spread fast that we had lost our dog. So he's home. He's got very sore and swollen paws and runny eyes but he's back. And can I just say how much I appreciate all of my great neighbors who were very eager to help out and find him. Thats the great part about living in a small town, all our neighbors really care about us and thats so rare these days. On a cute side note our nephew asked his dad where Blitz was and his dad said that the only way Blitz was going to come home is if we asked Jesus. Well they said that he would say, "Jesus, send Blitz home" a couple of times a day. When he found out that Blitz was home it was like the best present ever to see that God really answered his prayers and that is probably the greatest thing that came out of this is seeing a 4 year old get excited about prayer....a good lesson to us all.

***The above was written about a week ago, as of today he is totally back to normal and doing very good. Thank you all for caring about our dog!!!

2006-06-14T12:04:00.000-07:00

My dog Blitz

We have a chocolate lab who is 10 years old. Yesterday around 7pm we had him out just like usual and he ran away. He still isn't home almost 24 hours later and I'm about a wreck. My husband spent most of last night and most of this morning combing the woods and driving around in the rain looking for him. I know he's not a person but I am seriously heart broken today. I've called all the neighbors and animal control and no one has seen him. So please say a little prayer for me if you don't mind that we will find our dog......my husband says this is why he doesn't want anymore animals because he can't take all the pain that sometimes goes with them. And I can kind of see his point on a day like today.

2006-06-08T12:14:00.000-07:00

"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane."

I was driving to work yesterday morning and I heard those Jimmy Buffett lyrics and poof, my mind was back to my last year of college. My husband is a huge Buffett fan and I remember sitting in my car driving home from school with his borrowed cd playing in my car listening to that line over and over again and thinking that if there was ever a theme for me and my husband both this would be it. I never laughed so much in my life the first couple of months after meeting him. Pretty much I'm drawn to people who are just funny and naturally bubbly, people who don't take life or themselves too seriously. So I was immediately drawn to his silly personality, actually still am. For instance, he is an electrical engineer and for one of his last classes he had to do some extra boring power-point presentation and he decided to "jazz" it up a bit by having a cartoon of a baby crawling across the top of every slide. Just something silly and random that had nothing to do with the presentation itself but I bet it sure kept those engineers attention. I mean lets face it, most engineers are not known for having witty personalities, they just usually don't fit that mold. And to this day I can count on a good laugh at least once a day. Sometimes life just plain sucks and its nice to know that there are people out there who in the midst of it can make you smile. I hope I am one of those people.

2006-06-06T08:12:00.000-07:00

EVERWOOD......GOODBYE FOREVER..

I hate becoming attached to a television show. And I really hate when they cancel a show you are attached to. Its like a little part of you died or something. So there I was crying my eyeballs out last night over the end of this wonderful show. I must say that the writers did a great job of ending it and making sure Ephram and Amy and Andy and Nina ended up getting together in the end. It was just such a well written and intelligent show that got canned while One Tree Hill and 7th Heaven will still be polluting the world once again next season. So heres to 4 years of a great show that if you ever get a chance to watch I'm sure you will love.....

2006-06-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

Scary but kind of cute....

My mother since she has retired from teaching school has become little miss fashion diva. She owns like 200 pairs of shoes and has a purse and jewelry for all of her outfits. And she's pretty daring as far as colors and prints and actually she looks pretty darn cute most of the time!! I'm really proud of her wardrobe now without all the teacher pins and boring pantsuits she used to wear everyday. Well I had a great gift certificate to the mall and I decided since I just don't own enough shoes (umm thats a huge lie) to go into the Liz Claiborne shoe outlet. I saw these heels with a peep-toe that had a floral tapestry type print on them. The print was like pink and a pretty spring green and the heel and strap were done in dark brown. These are totally a shoe I would picture my mother wearing. I loved them on my feet and got them. I saw my mom on Saturday and was telling her about my new shoes, how much they reminded me of her and she jumps up and goes into her closet and proceeds to pull out the EXACT pair of shoes that I just bought. Apparently she loved them too!! Is that wild or what?? It got me thinking about how much I love my mom for the fact that she loves shoes almost as much as I do. Too bad we're not the same size or we'd both be in trouble!!

2006-05-30T13:21:00.000-07:00

K.I.T. over the summer.....

Remember all those lame things you used to write in people's yearbooks?? I was thinking the other day that I really really wished this saying was true. There are a lot of friends of mine out there who I haven't spoken to since my wedding and that makes me sad. And I'm partly to blame because I have two hands and free long distance and a car in which to get a hold of these people who mean a lot to me and I haven't. And its not because I'm busy, that is not even an excuse because I do have time. Its like sometimes you let so much time pass by that you feel like it would be really weird of inconvenient if you just called this person out of the blue. But if they would call me I would think none of those things so I should probably swallow my pride and just call them. 99% of the time you pick right back up where you left off and remember just why you were friends with them in the first place. Then your mind starts going what if there is a reason you haven't heard from them in so long?? What if they don't want to hear from you?? But I'm seriously going to K.I.T. this summer rather people want to hear from me or not because I really want these people to know that I think about them a lot and still really really care about them. And maybe just maybe we could become B.F.F. once again....

2006-05-28T11:18:00.000-07:00

My note to Honda...can you tell I'm upset???

Dear Honda,
I used to be your biggest fan. I loved you, even recommended you to friends and family. Now, not so much. Thank you for putting the crappiest sound system known to man in my car that is only 3 years old. Thank you for allowing my cd changer to break and malfunction and because its out of warranty thank you for allowing your customer service reps to be total a-holes to me on the phone and even suggest that I am the one to blame. Thank you for many a lonely trip in to work with stupid radio stations that only play crap and for not allowing me to listen to my cd's. I really appreciate it all..... I'm not bitter about this in any way shape or form, just really really pissed off. Please do me a favor and step up to the plate and fix my sound system instead of suggesting I go replace it with a different kind. And thanks for suggesting this while commenting on how good they normally are, hello you just made no sense. Oh, and my favorite line from one of your service reps,"we don't have many people call about this problem, it happened to my car and I had to have it replaced but you've got to look at it like a part." My resp0nse to this total BS,"so it happened to your car but it doesn't happen a lot, yeah that makes perfect sense." If you would just replace my cd player I would still love you might even buy another one, sans the 6 disc cd player and by the way your customer service reps need some more training....

Sincerely,

a 2003 Honda Accord driver

2006-05-03T13:26:00.000-07:00

"Go and buy yourself some shoes"

I am 27 years old. At an age where it might be perfectly normal for me to want to have children. But it is SO not the right time right now. Come on, I've only been married 7 months! I have a wonderful friend who has had some difficulties in this area right there with me where we rejoice with friends when we find out they are pregnant but at the same time we are kind of sad because we know there will be a change in that relationship. So I have come up with the motto that whenever I am feeling that crazy sad woa is me feeling that I am without child I GO BUY NEW SHOES!! And no I am not spending thousands of dollars but yes when I need a little pick-me-up I head to Target or the mall and go buy some new shoes. It makes all that baby stuff suddenly dissapear because this is the only time in my life that I can spend money on myself in this way and guess what I should totally be enjoying that instead of wishing for dirty diapers. So in a couple of years when my child wonders why I own so many pairs of shoes I will be able to give them the reason that their mom just wanted to be a girl a little bit longer...

2006-05-01T05:52:00.000-07:00

Re-living the Past...

Yesterday I did something shall we say really out of my comfort zone. I used to love playing slow-pitch softball. I played from the time I was 5 until I tried out for high school my sophmore year when the coach told me honestly that I made the team but because they had so many seniors and juniors that I was basically a seat warmer. So I quit and went to work! But I remember how awful those try-outs were. I was so scared and nervous. Oh yeah and I tripped in front of everyone.
Cut to yesterday in sunday school, a girl who I know but don't know terribly well said she was going to practice for a church league. (our church doesn't have enough people interested so we have to play for another church.) And I said, wow I would love to play again. So she called me and I went with her. I was a wreck yesterday afternoon before I went. It was like what did I do, I barely know her and now I have to go play with total strangers. And the fact that I haven't played in 10 years didn't make it any easier! But I had this tiny feeling of hope inside me that said that I would probably be ok and hey its free excercize. So I went and it was a little intimidating but I didn't do as bad as I thought I would. Yes I've got lots of work ahead of me! And I faced a fear that I don't think I would have a few years ago. Its nice to sometimes grow up when you're not even expecting to. Plus I'm sore today so I have constant reminders of what I got myself into!

2006-04-22T14:22:00.000-07:00

Being a girl is tough....

My mom is a magazine junky. She donates all her old magazines to me so I am NOT complaining. Lately they have been mostly decorating magazines and travel ones but the last batch she gave me were nothing but good ol' girly style and fashion magazines. So for the past couple of nights I have been absorbed into them. And from this I have realized their power over me. For example after reading in Glamour that lip gloss and shiny lips are out for this spring and summer I was almost tempted to give up my favorite lip gloss from Bath n Body, the one I always get complements on. Apparently lipstick colors and a more matte lip are back in. How could I let this magazine make me feel guilty for putting it on my lips??? I was beside myself at how much I felt dissatisfied in my wardrobe, make-up, and hair after reading the mags. And I'm not even going to go into my feelings on body image. I mean I literally wanted to chunk out the majority of my wardrobe and make-up and head to the nearest mall after reading these mags. I mean I didn't but the thought did cross my mind. Do guys even understand what girls go through in this area?? It has made me take a step back this week and realize how vulnerable I am and how locked up into self-image and stuff I am and how I don't want to be like that. Yes I want to look my best and yes I think I should take a certain pride in my appearance but when I feel guilty and disgusted by my present wardrobe, the one I obviously spent hard earned money on, I think something is wrong with the whole picture. And there is a certain freedom in knowing that God could care less if I wear lip gloss or regular old lipstick. Thanks, God.

2006-03-23T08:36:00.000-08:00

I'M SICK OF IT!!

So far this year I have had two colds. One when I got back from Vegas and one for the past couple of days. Now I'm not one to be sick like this and its really making me mad. I was really stressed out last week and didn't get too much sleep and was around my nephews a lot this past weekend who both have colds. Hmm...clearly the answer to my quesiton of why I'm not feeling so hot. But I used to pride myself on being that person who never feels bad and is a real champ, I mean I had perfect attendence in school and have only called in sick for work ONCE in the past 4 years!! So today I am just ready to be done with all this cold stuff!! On a side note my voice is pretty darn sexy, just like Pheobe's on friends!!! But I can promise I will not be searching for used kleenex's after this is all done with to keep that affect!!

2006-03-06T12:35:00.000-08:00

My Big Wal-mart Decision

So I don't know if anyone other than me has noticed but now at Wal-mart when you go to check out the screen where you do all your credit transactions asks if your sales associate was friendly. It then gives you the option of checking yes, no, or n/a. Well lets just say my cashier was having a bad day. She wasn't at her post when I pulled up and kind of gave me one of those I wish you would go away looks. She didn't speak one word to me as she rang up all my items. In fact she didn't say anything to me until what I did next. So I happened to glance at that screen and proceeded to check no. I wanted to scream "what a poster child of the no option!" Anyways she happened to notice what I was doing and since she saw me get out cash she asked what did I think I was doing with that keypad. Then it kind of hit her like a brick in the head and she mumbled, "whatever" under her breath. Wow what a great lady she was! And it was like I was to feel guilty because I answered truthfully that yes she could use some personality skills. I felt sad and great leaving Wal-mart. I felt sad for the lady that she had to be such a stick in the mud and I felt great that finally I got to be the snitch on rude cashiers that suck!!! I love you Wal-mart customer opinion check-out screen!!!

2006-02-27T06:49:00.000-08:00

Bears, oh my!

Did anyone other than me watch "Grizzleyman" on the Discovery channel this weekend? Boy what a story. If you want do a search on Yahoo for Timothy Treadwell you should be up to speed. It raised so many controversial subjects all in one show. I was just blown away at the fatal outcome of two people, one who yes did appear clinically insane to me. I'm sorry but if you're about to cry over bear poop I think you've got some issues. Just one hour into the movie my husband nailed it on the head when he said that the reason Timothy was like this was because he had an addictive personality which was not being filled anymore by drugs and alcohol so he had turned to the adrenaline rush he got from being around these bears. His friends even said that he deep down wanted to be some sort of rock star from this whole experience and from watching him he did have that Andy Dick kind of persona going on. What made it so tremendously sad was that someone who "loved" and "cared" about these animals so much, ultimately had them killed because he didn't use in my opinion the good common sense that animals are animals. If bears were meant to be harmless we would all have one dog, one cat and one bear. Something else that kind of sealed the deal for me as to why he died was the fact that he would tell people what an honor it would be to get killed by a bear or end up in bear poo. No its not an honor its a preventable death. I'm a huge believer in the power of your words and that what you say puts things into motion, whether good or bad so when I found out he was saying things like that it kind of all made sense. If you get the chance to watch this it really is fascinating to see what he was doing be it crazy or not, I have my own opinion and maybe you will leave feeling differently.....

2006-02-21T12:47:00.000-08:00

WHY DO I LOVE THIS SHOW SO?

I used to be obsessed with this show in elementary school. I had pictures of Kirk Cameron all over the walls of my room fresh out of Tiger Beat Magazine. So when I heard that they were finally going to be putting season 1 out on DVD I got really excited but a little nervous because I was afraid that when I finally got it home it wouldn't be nearly as good as I remember. And when I saw my husband's face when I pulled it out of the bag I knew this was a DVD I was going to have to watch when he wasn't around. But on Saturday when he was in and out of the house and I was on the couch sick he would catch glimpses of it and I noticed he would stay more and more each time, and could even remember what was going to happen in the episode. Finally he told me, "hey I think I might need to watch this with you." To which I suggested that night. So we fell in love all over again with Mike, Carol, and Ben Seaver and I suggest that you do to.

2006-02-20T06:08:00.000-08:00

Hey baby lets go to Vegas....

I was in Las Vegas last week attending a work convention with my boss. This was my first trip to sin city but I was just overwhelmed at the sizes and sights of the casinos. We stayed at Paris and I just loved every detail to make it feel as though you were right there on the streets of Paris. The food was so good too. Although we only stayed for 3 nights we did get to see 2 shows, one a tradional Vegas show which by the way included nudity!!! What was funny was that it wasn't even necessary nudity and I was just loving the comments of the 2 college aged boys behind us who might have had one too many drinks! The other show was a cirque de sole show. We went to see the one with the diving pool and all the crazy divers. Is it just me or are those shows really dark, meaning I just always leave feeling creeped out. They did put these two clowns in it and that made me laugh but all in all I left just feeling weird. I guess that makes me weird!! Did I gamble??? Yes I gambled $20 and won $16. I immediately cashed out to which the old man next to me announced that I was "never going to win big doing things like that." Oh yeah old man, well the next day we went to the outlet malls and I bought 2 skirts for $10 and I basically got one for free with my crazy gambling earnings!!! So there old man!!! I guess I don't have the gambling bug! I haven't been feeling too good this weekend and have basically sat around on the couch watching Growing Pains season 1!! I love having those days when its OK to just sit and watch tv because you're RESTING!!!

2006-01-31T10:41:00.000-08:00

Faith My Eyes

Lately I've been dealing a lot with completely trusting God. Actually this one prayer request in particular I have been trusting God with for around 5 years. Why is it that some days are so easy to just bask in God's word and be able to say yeah I trust him and I'm not going to worry about it while other days it hits you like a brick the minute you get out of bed? I know that I have grown through this whole situation but I fear at times I make God sad at how I say I trust him but yet I give in to letting my mind fill with worry and fear. Its something I'm really having to learn that if I say I trust him then my actions need to reflect this as well. And why is it such a temptation to think well God has really let me down by not giving me EXACTLY what I wanted when in reality he has given me more than I could ever hope for if I take a step back and look at the entire situation. I need to do that on a daily basis I guess....put perspective on my life and how good I have things even though this one little situation in my mind is whats ruining everything. And I know that is just how life is, once we have one situation taken care of there will come another one that requires faith as well and I guess I'll need the strength and hope that came from this struggle to make it through that one.

2006-01-27T12:49:00.000-08:00

The Golden Child buys Gold Shoes

So about a week ago I was casually strolling along the Target aisles when a gorgeous pair of GOLD shoes caught my eyes. Now I am a huge shoe person but not a gold shoe person so when I saw these shoes I was very suprised that they caught my eye, not to mention that they were only $11!! The funny thing is I was flipping through InStyle magazine and they had some that were very similar to this from a major shoe designer for way over $100! Now where will these gold shoes take me? I will certainly let everyone know. So far they have looked pretty good with my flannel pj's walking to get the mail! And yes I live out in the country so I can pretty much get away with that kind of fashion crime without anyone ever knowing!

2006-01-24T11:08:00.000-08:00

Wine, wine you're so devine!

On Saturday my husband and I went on a little vineyard expedition with another couple. And believe it or not the vineyards we went to were located shockingly enough in our own county! We had both never been and didn't know what to expect but ended up really enjoying the whole experience. It was really cool to see how different people could taste this in their wine and how one of us would really like one and another would really hate it. I have decided officially that my taste buds have changed because there would have been a time when I would have gagged on some of those flavors but as of Saturday really love. All in all not a bad way to spend a cold rainy day. I highly recommend it! Oh yeah and I might add to please eat a meal before going to a sampling......

2006-01-11T12:20:00.000-08:00

Freak-out!

Yesterday is a day that I have had nightmares about. Its a day that I have felt sorry for other people about. It was the day I got my first flat tire! Not only did I have a flat tire but I was in a very small town an hour away from my house in South Carolina. I knew the car felt kind of funny driving and when I got into the town I rolled my window down and heard the air escaping fast. When the light changed I knew by the way the tire was clumping that I needed to get off the road fast. So I pulled into the first safe place I could find which was the Bi-lo parking lot. Now I have to confess that at this point I was about to have a slight panic attack, I had to be at a customer's right down the road in exactly 45 minutes and I don't know how to change a tire. I know, something I really need to learn and my wonderful husband has told me he will teach me. So I called him and at least let him know I was in trouble and could he tell me how fast to ride on a doughnut tire. He told me and I went into the Bi-lo to see if anyone in there knew of a tire place I could call or go to. This really nice girl named Darlene not only said yes she did but she called them for me and I was to wait in my car for them to come.
Now its approaching when I'm due at my customer's and I did call and said I was going to be late and they totally understood and felt sorry for me. Well I waited for about an hour and no one showed up. Darlene was getting off work and she called again for me and the man said he was working by himself and couldn't come, to which Darlene said she was going to change the tire herself! She had NEVER done it before but had helped enough times to know what to do and I was so worn out from being stressed that I didn't care. So we go over to my car and I get the spare out and Darlene proceeds to try to find my jack which if I hadn't had been so crazy acting I could have found myself but she just gets her own out which doesn't really work. Well these other two women see our despair and apparently are state workers and to the rescue they come, one just hops right down on the pavement and gets to business. They had to take out all their groceries to get to their jack but they didn't care and really helped out. By this time the manager of the Bi-lo (a man) comes out and finishes up the job. Boy was I thankful for those 4 people yesterday and I was thinking how in the world am I going to be able to re-pay them. So I offered them all cash and only one accepted and I felt like the most blessed person in all the world. I made it to my customers only 40 minutes late and drove home very slow but learned that there are still people willing to help others out and that I want to be that eager to help others out when they are in a bind. And I will never ever fuss at someone going slow down the road on a doughnut ever again!
Oh yeah for the record a cop drove by in the shopping center and I tried to motion him over but he just smiled and drove off, I guess I wasn't his type!! Just kidding he probably didn't realize I needed help. Well I am signing up for AAA today! I could be a commercial for them if they wanted......

2006-01-05T06:28:00.000-08:00

Go 49ers!!

Jerome and I went to a Uncc basketball game last night. How sad that we both attended and graduated from there and NEVER once went to a basketball game. We had the best time! They even pulled out a win for us! We went with two teaching friends of my mothers who are in the alumni association and all and we got to eat free dinner with all the big wigs and it was just fun. The one thing I want to know is what is the deal now with college basketball teams having almost a coach for each player? I bet both teams last night had at least 5 coaches! And what made me keep laughing is that all of them are yelling at the players and you're thinking if I was a player on the court why would I even listen to 5 people screaming at me? I know this is part tradition or whatever but it made me laugh at all these grown men in suits yelling at these players who are just trying to play a little basketball. Funny stuff.
On another note please explain to me why my husband gets up every night and consumes many snacks? And please also explain to me how he can remain lean and trim even while doing this, its just not fair!! And on that note I will let the world know of my repetitive goal of this year to loose weight. This time maybe I will have the willpower.

2006-01-02T07:22:00.000-08:00

The best of 2005 ....from my own perspective

Here is the top 10 list of events that made 2005 a good year! (they are in no particular order..)

1. I got married!! October 1st was a great day.
2. I got a new job position which has allowed me to work from home part -time and I love it!
3. We purchased new furniture for our living room and a great pub table for our kitchen from the money we made from working at the farmers market during the spring/summer.
4. Our friends had a baby and he's beautiful!
5. I managed to pull of cooking Christmas brunch for my parents complete with hashbrown casserole and baked apples and it was actually delicious!
6. We had a big estate sale with my grandparents household and from that money we were able to pay for a lot of wedding expenses. It was also a really good bonding time for my aunt and my cousin whom I don't get to see very often.
7. I started drinking coffee!! Its about time don't you think?!
8. We went on our first official vacation as husband and wife to Myrtle Beach for the weekend and we shopped!
9. At the beginning of 2005 I took my first ever sick day because I had a terrible ear infection which ruined new years.
10. We watched "It's a wonderful life" together and realized thats what we've got.

Happy New Year!!

2005-12-05T11:49:00.000-08:00

Wow a post from me!!

I know its been like 100 years since I've written here. I know, its silly! But seriously I have no excuses except I am doing a lot of adjusting right now and actually I have lots of things to talk about...but for today here is my list for Kari!! (who has made me realize I need to write more!)

Seven Things to Do Before I Die (Lord willing):
1. Make all my Grandmothers recipes
2. Have kids
3. Learn to make mosaics
4. Travel across the US
5. Travel somewhere out of the US
6.Learn how to sew better and actually make things.
7. Go skiing!! (I know so sad I've never ever been!)

Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. touch my tongue to my nose!
2. climb up anything really tall (I'm really afraid of heights)
3. yoga (I have tried it, its just not for me)
4. cook like my grandma
5. be in the heat and be pleasant
6. see people being rude to service employees
7. paint my nails! (I'm really bad at it!!)

Seven Things that Attract Me to My Spouse [romantic interest, best friend, whomever](not necessarily in this order!):
1. The way he makes me laugh
2. How he knows how to fix every blooming thing known to man!
3. The way he cares for others and treats others with such respect and love
4. How he makes really stinky sandwiches such as sardines and sour kraut!!!
5. How he gets fired up and passionate about things that are important and silly!!
6. How cute he is when he falls asleep on the couch
7. How he respects what I say and really listens to me

Seven Things I Say (or write!) Most Often:
1. “thank you thank you"
2. “I need a price on....”
3. “umm”
4. “Jerome”
5. “its me”
6. “love you”
7. “huh”

Seven Books (or series) I Love:
1. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
2. The diary of Bridget Jones
3. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
4. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsley
5. Any of the What Not to Wear books by the British girls (I know really serious literature)
6. Mansfield Park by Jane Austen
7. Can I say I have become addicted to reading cook books?? Any of them, I really love them all!

Seven Movies I Would Watch Over and Over Again:
1. Pretty in Pink
2. You've got mail
3. 16 candles
4. The Pride and Prejudice miniseries
5. Serendipity
6. My six loves (it's this old Debbie Reynolds movie that I love)
7. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (I'm so addicted to this movie its crazy)

Seven People I Want to Join in:
Gosh, um Jeremy, and anyone else who actually reads this!!

2005-10-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

So you're married now....

Well its official. I got hitched on October 1st. Life is certainly a different story now. Its been really good though, I'm learning something new everyday! Like for instance how I do things because well thats how my mom does things and how he does things because well thats how his mom did things. And somewhere in between is how you will do things together. I have also learned that living in a small community can be really rewarding. I mean I can walk down our road without cars zooming by at 90 mph. I can also recognize different people in town and have started knowing the people that work at the grocery store and post office. I have started going to a new church and its been so refreshing having that change. And not to mention going to sunday school! I love this concept! I also love that we have a cat and a dog and a beautiful yard to enjoy when its nice out. And how we have OUR house that we can call home. Its really been so much better than I ever expected. There used to be this really silly commercial on tv from one of those on-line dating services about how marriage was a slumber party everynight....well come to think of it Jeremy does eat popcorn everynight, does that count? And when we were moving we found my old Mili Vanilli tape and just jammed out to it all afternoon. These are the things I love.

2005-09-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

Wedding Countdown has begun....

In only 12 days I am getting married!! It seems like just yesterday I was starting to plan this event. I am also moving on Saturday and it just seems like its all changing so fast! I went this weekend to finalize things and get our license... Do you ever just feel like you basically wake up in the morning and life kind of moves you all around? I'm not complaining, change is good and I am ready for this change its just always the work it involves that can become crazy. Maybe by October 2nd I will be doing good!!!

2005-09-02T12:44:00.000-07:00

My obsession this week....

I can't take in enough hurricane Katrina info. It just makes me so sad. Everywhere we went on our vacation last year will never be the same again. I guess I should be thankful I got to see New Orleans and Biloxi at their beautiful bests. I just can't believe the devastation. I guess now that I've visited the gulf coast so much I have such a familiar sad feeling about the whole thing. I guess all I can do is pray that things will get better.

2005-09-01T11:32:00.000-07:00

Utter Chaos

So yesterday my mother calls me and says that the gas pumps are running low and I better go get gas or else.....So after work I calmly proceed to the gas station where it looks as if people are certain that the end of the world is approaching. I remember as a child my dad telling me about the gas rations in the 1970's and how crazy that was but I had never seen anything like this. And grown men were filling up dozens of gas cannisters full of gas. I mean I studied economics in school and I know how our media likes to install fear and panic but this seriously beat all I had ever seen. I have never seen police escorting people into gas stations and I have never seen people waiting hours for a tank of gas. Unbelievable.

"The sky is falling Chicken Little.." and nothing new is under the sun.

2005-08-12T06:53:00.000-07:00

Crusin' in my 5.0.....

Did I just quote Vanilla Ice??? I think I did! Anyways, my neighbor across the street is selling a Honda Civic coupe and yesterday afternoon I saw a dad and mom and teenage daughter looking at it and talking to my neighbor. I got really sad and sentamental for a moment remembering the happy times I had in my first car. It was a 1989 Honda Prelude, white, sunroof and the best cassete player money can buy.
I had went on a missions trip the summer after my junior year of high school and when my parents came to pick me up at the airport they suprised me with my car. It was the best feeling ever, too bad I was exhausted and didn't get to drive home! But the next day I couldn't believe my luck at my pretty new wheels. I drove everywhere in that little car and I still miss it. There was just something about that new found freedom of being able to drive alone and play your own music and sing to your hearts desire without a parent figure in the car.
So I hope that girl bought the car and is at this moment listening to a great girlie song with her sunroof down thinking about how good life is.

PS-Honda's make excellent first girl cars! I still own one!

2005-07-27T13:18:00.000-07:00

LET THE FUN BEGIN!!

Last weekend me and Jeremy had our first shower. We got so many wonderful presents, it was unbelievable. I have never seen that many presents for myself ever! We about filled up half of our guest bedroom with presents, there were that many. Later that night when we were both about exhausted we started going through the bags and boxes. The floor was covered with tissue paper and open presents and I looked at Jeremy and thought this is really happening, we are getting married and it was a wonderful moment. We were surrounded by presents of people who love and care for us and all I felt at that moment was how loved we are. It was a good day...

2005-07-11T09:45:00.000-07:00

Hurricane flashbacks...

Yesterday I couldn't seem to leave the couch watching Hurricane Dennis blowe ashore. It was like I had to watch the reporters and I had to watch that Ramada Inn sign blow down. I was so glad this time (selfishly) that I wasn't banking my vacation this time around this storm. I hate it for those people and I hope that everyone came out ok. My uncle has a condo in Pensacola and just laid down new carpet last week because of the flood damage during Ivan. Just so crazy how mother nature can once again make you realize that you play by her rules and no one else's. So please pray for October 1st week that our honeymoon will be great weather and no hurricanes will try to stop it!!

2005-07-01T06:57:00.000-07:00

Breakfast with the girls

I've had a pretty rough week. We've had two people out of the office plus trying to interview people for my job. I've also started thinking a lot about how in September I will be out in the open world of job searching again. Its scary and exciting but too much for me this week. So this morning me and the two other ladies I work with went and had breakfast together. It was some good girl time and exactly what I needed. I love having a good hot breakfast and good conversation. It makes what has happened this week fade slowly away.... and plus I had my favorite livermush which totally grosses everyone out but is so good!

2005-06-29T08:02:00.000-07:00

"Long live Southern Literature"

This is what was on a little note from my Dad this morning. Shelby Foote the Civil War author and the person whom I was named after died yesterday and thus the reasoning behind my father's statement. My dad was a history major and is a former US history teacher so you can imagine the kind of childhood I had. His passion was the Civil War and on every family vacation it was not uncommon for me and my mother to feel like his students. He loved Shelby Foote's writing style. As a child I would become weary of all my Dad's stories, you couldn't ask him anything without having to listen to a 15 minute history of the event. But now I rather admire my Dad for all his history knowledge and have even decided to read some history books. Maybe even some Shelby Foote, just for Dad.

2005-06-15T12:11:00.000-07:00

"Jesus, you make me feel like a spiritual woman..."

My fingers just about didn't let me type that. Me and my fiance have been working at a local farmer's market the past couple of Saturdays and they have live "entertainment" if that's even what you could call it. Well we have been blessed with the singing abilities of one woman, God bless her soul but she's terrible! And my main beef with her is that she takes "secular" songs and puts Jesus in them just to make them "spiritual." And its not pretty, in fact the funny part is that she sings her made up words while her split soundtrack echoes the correct non-spiritual words, making for one huge mess of a song.

Heres the deal, I cannot stand it when Christian musicians try to be cute and take a regular love song and change it all around to Christian lyrics and then try to pass it off as spirtitual now. And as I write this I am realizing that the puppet team at my church has several of these style tapes where its like Elvis type vocalists singing, "Don't step on my heavenbound shoes." And then all the Baby Boomers at church laugh and clap along and think wow how clever. No its not clever its annoying and I'm really singing and thinking about the original lyrics to the song. And yes that song was inspired by drugs, not Jesus, so put your hands down now!

So please musicians, song writers, praise team leaders, unless Whoppi Goldburg is leading your choir in a bad neighborhood, leave the Billboard charts ALONE!

2005-06-09T07:05:00.000-07:00

I got tossed the music baton!!

Its only taken me a week to think about this very difficult subject! Kari passed me the baton and this has been very difficult. Let me say that these are in no way set in stone and could change momentarily but as of today these are my selections!

Amount of Music on Your Computer

I am seriously technologically challenged! I don't own an I-pod and have NO music on my slow slow computer at home. And I don't think things will change once I get married because me and Jeremy would just rather pop in a cd than categorize and list all our tunes! Call us old fashioned but I'm too OCD anyways to create lists and song play lists, just too much right now! Am I envious of people who have their entire music collection saved, absolutely!!

Currently listening to

Shelby Lynne-Suit Yourself. Her latest cd, so far its pretty good. I'm a big fan of hers and not just because she's a Shelby too!

Five Songs that Mean a lot to You

Wow this one was soooo hard! These are in no particular order.

-Jimmy Buffet, "Love in the Library". Basically this is me and Jeremy's "song". We did basically find love in the library at UNCC. He is a big Buffet fan and when we first started dating he would play this song for me. It just makes me smile because those were some of the best times of our relationship and they were in the library!

-Patty Griffin, "Long Ride Home". I love the music and lyrics to this song. Last summer I would roll the windows down and sing this song and duh think about someone!

-Tony Rice, "Early Morning Rain". I grew up surrounded by bluegrass music and my dad would play Tony Rice all the time. I love his voice, music everything. I believe this was originally a Gordon Lightfoot song but I still love it. When I hear this song it just takes me back to being young and hanging out with my Dad.

-Alison Krauss, "Forget about It". When I was going through a pretty rough time I would listen to this song, well actually this whole cd and although a little depressing sounding it would always make me feel somewhat better. It still just takes me right back to that place in time.

-Jennifer Knapp, "Faithful to Me". When I hear those first haunting notes of this song it just reminds me of being in college and all the fear and changes going on around me. I love this song!

Top 5 Albums

-Counting Crows, "August and Everything After." I still can't get enough of this cd. Almost every song is great, love love love it!

-Caedmon's Call self-titled. Although I'm not a dot.netter person I'm still a big fan. This cd to me is their best and always puts a huge smile on my face.

-Ryan Adams, "Gold." I could listen to this cd everyday and never get tired of it. Its just so refreshing to me.

-Sandra McCracken, "Gypsy Flat Road." My favorite Sandra cd and another one I would have no problem listening to all the time. Lyrically, musically great.

-Allison Moorer, "Show." This is Shelby Lynne's little sister who I recently really began to enjoy. This is her live album and she sings with Shelby on it for a double enjoyment factor!

Last Album Bought

Shelby Lynne's "Suit Yourself"

Recent Discoveries

All the wonderful artists off of the Garden State soundtrack, Frou Frou's included!

And the Baton goes to....

Jerome!

2005-05-26T11:32:00.000-07:00

I'll boast no more

I am realizing that I have a huge problem with people who are great at telling you all the many things they are good at and successful at. It just makes my skin crawl. My parents are not boastful people and taught me that you never unless ASKED, talk about your achievements. No one really cares unless they specifically ask you! Its just not in my make-up I guess.

I am struggling with the person who is replacing me at work. This person who has only been here a couple of weeks and is so computer savy that they have begun to announce that a lot of what we do is a waste of time! I am at the point where I don't want to hear about it so today I finally said if you want to make this on-line and change this.."HAVE AT IT!"

The other part of the story is that the third day of this co-worker's employment they proceeded to tell me and another co-worker on their own without us asking how efficient they made their last workplace. CONGRATULATIONS DO YOU WANT A STANDING OVATION FROM US???

I just needed to vent, I am just fed up with the whole "look what I can do" scene. Its not how I was brought up and its not how I will ever be. So please pray for me and my new replacement!!!

2005-05-04T12:04:00.000-07:00

"Let em' work, let em' live."

So they are paving the highway I drive on to get to work and its in SC. Well I just noticed that on their road construction signs they have the above slogan. They don't have this slogan that I'm aware of in NC. I find this saying to be most peculiar because it assumes that me the driver am out to kill road workers. I know its their way of warning me to slow down and pay extra attention to the construction thats happening but it just makes me laugh. The saying really doesn't even make good sense. I will let them work therefore I am letting them live. And if they're not working then its perfectly ok for me to kill them at my leisure? And who came up with this slogan? The image of road construction and caution does not evoke this saying in my brain. Its just odd to me.... so I will let them work and if they're really really nice, I will let them live.

So after just writing this I did a search and found out that it is a snazzy add campaign to make drivers aware that road workers are real people to with families and such. Wow I thought they were robots, thanks DOT!

http://www.dot.state.sc.us/Events/workzone/ad_campaign.shtml

2005-05-02T11:51:00.000-07:00

"When God fearin' women get the blues...."

I actually hate that song but seriously today I woke up with an overwhelming feeling of sadness and I have nothing to be sad about. Its one of those days when you want to cry your eyeballs out for nothing. And the slightest thing drives you nutty. I hate these kinds of days! Why does the female race have these days? I can see why there are so many people on anti-depressant drugs because today I would pay to have some.

On top of this I checked out the new Kelly Clarkson cd from the library and I actually like it. In fact I like almost every song on the cd. Have I completely lost my mind? Maybe this is why I'm depressed, my mind is too confused as to why its associating Kelly with good music....

And to make matters worse I had one of those days yesterday where you let your mind wander about all the things that could go wrong in your life which leads to questioning God which leads to a mess. I hate when I do that. Its just been all around one big cry day. Tomorrow WILL be better or else!!

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise??????? Can she be any luckier at age 26? I mean she was just like me sitting around in junior high drooling over him in Top Gun and now she's kissing him in Italy. What a dream come true.

2005-04-25T12:15:00.000-07:00

Wine, Gaither Videos and a fire...

I went to the mountains this past weekend with my mom to take care of some wedding plans and we stayed with my Grandad. Since my Grandmother passed away last year he has been dealing with living alone pretty well. He is so funny to me because he is so set in his ways and quirky and I love that about him. When I was little I would stay at their house for weekends at a time and he would carry me around with a pipe sticking out of his mouth. And every time I smell a pipe I automatically am being carried around again.

He loves to drink wine, especially White Zinfandel. And why I guess I'll never really know but when you go to see him you are welcomed with a nice cold glass. My parents never partake in this event but for me its a way that I bond with him and its something I can share in. Don't get me wrong I'm not getting smashed with Gramps but we do have a few glasses.

His other passion in life is singing. He has a beautiful voice and is an active member of his choir. I love to hear him sing. He puts all his energy into it and you can see it in his eyes how much he loves it. His entire face just lights up. He also enjoys the Gaither Homecoming videos. He doesn't watch tv, he just watches those. And when you go and see him you are not expected to watch but I view it as a once in a life time opportunity to watch with him. My other cousins are about 5 -10 years younger than me and don't really get the whole watching southern gospel bit but there are times when I hear him humming along with the words and its like a piece of my history right there.

And the fire to him is an art. He loves to tend to it, poke at it and make sure everyone is warm. He usually keeps his room about 95 degrees so we enjoy the tropics while at his house.

He's quiet and doesn't say much but when he does talk its important. And he never lets you leave without a hug, a kiss and a promise that you'll come back very very soon.

2005-04-19T06:45:00.000-07:00

"Teach me how to speak
Teach me how to share
Tell me where to go
Tell me will love be there"

So I turn 26 today! My birthday used to be the terrorist holiday, (Waco got invaded, Oklahoma bombing on my 16th birthday) until September 11th. Its also in some terrorist book as being a day of evil. But hey I was born, its time to celebrate!

Birthdays in general make me reflect on what happened last year and whats going on this year. 26 is already looking pretty good, I'm getting married starting a new life. My friends are becoming moms and I get to be a part of that. I'm looking for a new carrer direction. So many things to be thankful for that I can hardly stand it. Birthdays have always been so good to me and show me just how much people actually love me. Its a good day to be alive, plus the weather here is absolutely gorgeous. Sure there are several things that I want to change this year and work on but just for today I will concentrate on being loved and loving back...

"Heaven let your light shine down.."

2005-03-23T11:56:00.000-08:00

SPRING IS IN THE AIR...

Ah yes its that wonderful time of year called spring. The trees are budding, the flowers blooming and there is wonderful easter candy all in the stores! I have a confession to make: I love Cadbury eggs. I know they gross out half the population but there has to be at least one other fan because the drug stores are packed with them. And my other guilty pleasure is Peeps. Easter is never the same until I have had at least a pack of those wonderful marshmallowy sugary goodness in my mouth. And don't try to be all creative and branch out into bunnies and sorts, just give me the birds only! I am such an Easter candy lover its pathetic. I seriously love Easter candy far more than any other holiday candy.

On to my next "love" of spring. The wonderous odor that fills my lungs when walking outside because of the foilage of one particular tree. The Bradford Pear tree emits what I like to call a "fish" odor when the leaves start to rot. The horror all began my freshman year in college at UNCG when the campus streets were lined with them. Since our dorm had no AC the window was always open and that horrid ghastly smell would float into our room and make me sick. Then you had to smell it as you walked to class and it was especially fragrant right after a good afternoon thunderstorm. So I have declared that no matter how pretty they might look I will never ever ever put one of these trees in my yard. Save the world one more odor.

See, candy and fishy smells are all I need to know that spring is here!

2005-03-18T05:52:00.000-08:00

"She needed wide open spaces.."

Last Saturday Jeremy, my dad and me were walking around the woods behind my Grandparents house and I became so sad. Both my Grandparents are deceased now and we are selling their house and property. They have lived in that house for over 65 years and the road their house is on has become so busy and little neighborhoods and apartments are popping up everywhere. But between those complexes there is about 20 acres of just pure woodland. I remember walking around in those woods as a child and helping my dad cut trees and stacking the wood in the back of his pick up truck. I can't believe that in a year it will probably be a tacky neighborhood. But thats the reality of the world I live in now. People don't farm and need 100 acres of land to survive. I never lived in a neighborhood my whole life, my parents have always had at least 4 acres of land and woods. I know there are many advantages to living in a neighborhood but maybe I'm just weird in saying that I need a big back yard where my kids can play and I need woods to walk around in and explore. I guess marrying Jeremy is perfect because we will have all that. Don't get me wrong I'm the first to admit how much I love going shopping and having easy access to Target but I do get a little sad when I think about how our woods and farmland are being turned into Wal-Marts and cookie-cutter neighborhoods. I just need land I guess and finally in a few months I will have enough to satisfy myself.

2005-03-07T06:40:00.000-08:00

Revelations

This past week and weekend have been full of revelations for me. Things that I was once scared of seem to be not so scary. Things that once affected me no longer have as much weight. Things that I thought wouldn't be that big a deal have turned out to be a big deal. And I guess the biggest thing is realizing how selfish I am about some things. It really has been a wild couple of days. Would I have ever believed that I would react to things like I did, probably not.

Its really been an unbelievable realization that things change. And how I deal with them or don't deal with them is going to be what makes or breaks me. My dad always says you either deal with change or you die. And not seriously like you die but parts of you begin to die when you don't allow change in your life. So with that said, there are things going on now that I'm like hey bring on the change but there are also things that I 'm not so ready to give up and just the mention of the way their changing brings tears to my eyes.

But yesterday was really the best day I have had in a while. Me and Jeremy went for a walk out by the pond into the woods with his chocolate lab Blitz and our cat Belvedere. It was sunny and warm and peaceful and quiet. In his woods way behind the house there are trash piles from the 1920's, 30's all the way into the 50s. I know it sounds gross but before there were landfills and trash services people either burned their trash except for the glass. So in his woods there are all sorts of old bottles. We found some old Dr. Pepper bottles and an old milk bottle. Its kind of like getting to be an explorer. And so we kind of have an old bottle collection. But it was just one of those days you're just glad to be alive, in love and healthy. It was very good.

2005-03-03T08:02:00.000-08:00

Toxicity in the workplace!

I am struggling right now. Struggling with how one person can make your work environment TOXIC. And when this person is the one in charge its kind of hard to be open and honest with them about how disgusting their behavior truly is. The sad thing is I have let it become sort of an open wound not really dealing with it kind of let it keep getting infected.

I guess the truth of the situation is that I have allowed someone to make me bitter and angry when I profess to be someone who easily forgives. I don't want these feelings I am having towards this person. I don't ever want to dislike someone as much as I do this person. Its really brought up some issues within myself about how to deal with someone that just rubs you raw.

I know the answer to my situation is to pray for this person that nothing I do can ever change them, its something that God will have to change. But at this point its so hard, its hard to wake up every morning and not know what kind of mood or situation you might be thrown into today. I am leaving this job in September so there is at least a ray of light at the end of my dark tunnel but I know that if I don't personally deal with this situation that it will continue to follow me. I mean there is always going to be someone who you just don't jive with, someone who you really really don't like to be around at all. So I guess I am going to suck it up and keep on trucking. I was just wondering what else can be done.....

2005-02-21T13:06:00.000-08:00

The cat that liked to bathe....

I have several cats, how I started what I call "collecting" these cats is another story all together but I had to write about how my one cat likes our shower water. My cat Abby loves to come in in the mornings when she knows I will be taking a shower. She used to at first try to get in the shower when the water was running waiting to get hot but when it almost gets her she would jump out. She now patiently waits on me to finish my shower so she can go take hers. Well not exactly, she likes to drink the leftover water in the shower, kind of like a dog drinking water out of the toilet. Well she's a partial outside cat so she would come in all muddy and then get muddy paw prints all over the shower, floor and my white bath mats. So I stopped her from actually getting in the shower. Now the standard daily routine is for her to wait on me to finish the shower and then I cup my hand under the shower faucet and get a little of the hot water and drizzle it over her. Its a fun art I tell you. She then licks it off of her! I know its so bizarre but its so silly every morning when you're trying to shower to stick your head out and see this cat looking at you so she can have her hot water bath! She is too spoiled! These cats of mine are crazy but I love them just the same.

2005-02-09T06:43:00.000-08:00

Stealing from the Gym

I just wanted to see what the general opinion was of "borrowing" magazines from the gym or from work. What I mean is, is there an unwritten rule that I am not aware of that says that those magazines are up for grabs? Heres why I'm wondering: Monday night I'm at the gym on the elliptical machine reading a Shape magazine, which came straight off the gyms magazine rack. A young girl gets on the machine next to me and starts reading over my shoulder, I mean it was so bad that she would strain her neck every time I turned the page. I won't get into how annoying that was to begin with but eventually she asked me what magazine it was. I told her and she proceeded to read over my shoulder. Well I had about had it so when I was finished on the machine I said to her do you want this magazine to READ and she grabbed it out of my hand. Yes I understand that Shape magazine is pretty decent but is any magazine that good?? So I proceed to go onto other weight machines and notice that she tucks the magazine under her arm and walks out with it. I am kind of alarmed, I mean I guess she is stealing in my mind.

So last night I am at the gym again and I see her take a magazine off the rack and again take it home with her. I feel like such a gym natzi but is she the reason why all the magazines at the gym are ancient now? Its such a silly thing to steal a magazine if its even stealing! Inside I want to confront her and tell her that I will buy her the magazine but then its like get over it, its a dumb magazine. The funny thing was last night when I was picking out a magazine to read there was another lady there selecting one too and she said, "they should really get some new magazines in here." I wanted to tell her that we have a magazine theft that is deliberately taking the new issues! I know get over it. Whatever, just my pet peeves of the day!

2005-02-03T06:50:00.000-08:00

Cardio Oh NO!

If there was ever a lesson that I should have learned, it would have to be to never ever buy a work-out DVD from the dollar section at Target!! Yes I know what you're thinking. First of all what was I doing even thinking that a work-out video in general was going to be good. And add to that the fact that it was a $1, it is just a combo for disaster. But I was intrigued by the simple packaging and the fact that if it sucked at least I wasn't out twenty bucks. So I put this DVD into my player and immediately saw the signs that I was in trouble. The opening is some really horrible graphics of a man with dollar signs in his eyes, straight up off of clip art! And underneath this man is the words, "Dollar Entertainment". So Dollar Entertainment produced this lovely DVD for $1. Well I won't go into details but lets just say I would have been better off spending my time watching a public access workout show. It was that bad. And I spent most of the 25 minutes laughing at the people instead of actually exerting physical energy. What a joke.

So while I'm writing I want to talk about something that makes me want to wish I never ever had ears. That Thermosilk commercial that uses Ashlee Simpson's song "la la". When I hear the first notes coming out I immediately cover my ears and change the channel. What is the deal with this song? And what does it have to do with hair products? I understand money, blah blah blah, hello, I'm a marketing major but seriously this song makes me want to self destruct. It is like 20 people scratching their nails on a chalkboard. I didn't know that I could ever have such hate associated with a song but Ashlee has sure done it for me. I'm not going to go into more about her, I'll leave well enough alone. And I'm sure not going to admit how I watch her reality show every Wednesday night!

2005-01-24T11:06:00.000-08:00

"It doesn't matter what i say
So long as i sing with inflection
That makes you feel that i'll convey
Some inner truth of vast reflection" ~Blues Travelers

I went to see Steve Earle this weekend and I have been thinking about music and its impact the past couple of days. Where do artists mainly singer/songwriters draw the line between singing and writing about things that are inspiring to them and just delighting people's ears? I guess what I'm trying to say is if I was a songwriter and politics and religion were really inspiring me to write and sing then should I feel weird or bad about forcing that upon my listeners? I mean I totally understand how the things around us love, death, work, material things for example inspire us to write and have some sort of opinion. But is music about what that person is trying to convey or is it more about trying to create something for others to appreciate and try to draw a parallel with themselves.

I knew going into the Steve Earle concert that his new cd was about political things going on in our nation right now. Even though I don't necessarily agree with all he said and sang about I feel like he has the right to express himself the way he wants to and have the opinions that he does. But should an artist who you don't really associate with a political/religious nature be allowed to voice their opinions during most of the concert? I understand that he definetely has the right to do whatever he likes at his concerts and I knew about this going into it but do you think maybe musicians should understand that their fans go to hear good music not a political stance? Where is that line between feeling passionate about something and wanting to share it with your fans and forgetting that they might just want to hear some good music.... just a thought for today. Actually I really enjoyed the concert, at least it left me with food for thought.

2005-01-19T13:32:00.000-08:00

"I called YOU?? My fault...."

Have you ever had someone you know accidentally call your number by mistake? And the whole time you are talking to this person you know that you are keeping them from talking to the person they really intended to talk to. It happened to me last night, and the first couple of minutes went something like this:

Me: Hello
Friend: Hello, SHELBY?? Oh my gosh, I was trying to call my Grandad. Its his birthday today. I always get your numbers mixed up.
Me: Thats ok, how are you?
Friend: I'm good, I have been meaning to call you....blah blah blah

The funny part is I had invited this friend to an event a month ago and they hadn't called me or anything to let me know if they were coming or what since this event. So you are left wondering well what happened to them. So this friend explained why there was no phone call. It was just too weird. I know this person was probably just as embarrased as I was but the whole conversation with this person was so strained and awkward when its normally not. But still a phone call from a friend no matter how weird is still a phone call from a friend! My life is bad tv sometimes I swear.

2005-01-12T10:38:00.000-08:00

On Changes...

For the past couple of years there have been very big parts of my life that I wish I could change. Well the motions of changing them have begun and as much as I wished I could change them that awful fear of change has come creeping into my heart. For as long as I have known my parents they have been planners. I bet my dad had his whole life planned out by age 18. He is just naturally a planner. Me on the other hand have that somewhat in my blood. I like to make plans and think about them but realize that they are guidelines and not real life. So this week I have made one step in the whole process of changing my life. And I will have to admit that while it felt good to set in motion those things, its also scary. Why do we fear change so much? I feel like an older person whose favorite cereal just added berries, thus making it different.
I know someone who recently switched jobs and moved to a new city. I thought about how I admire that in so many ways. This person was able to just up and leave everything familiar about life behind for something new. Could I do that? Do I have the guts to leave my everyday life for something more? Part of me could and then part of me says that it would be too hard and settle for what life is now. I wish I could be more easily adaptable to change. Its one of my goals for this year, to embrace change not run from it!

2004-12-29T11:42:00.000-08:00

"Through the years, we all will be together..."

I had a good Christmas! It was sort of rushed and I was partially sick but it was good. I spent Christmas Eve with Jeremy's family. We then tried to watch one of my favorite movies, Uncle Buck. How can it not be a good Christmas when Uncle Buck is on!! Then we went to my parents to watch another movie I had never seen. It was called Christmas in Conneticut and it was made in I believe 1945. Very cute movie I might add.

Christmas day I always open presents with my parents and Jeremy and then we eat breakfast together. I got a sewing machine this year so I can be super domestic! But the bad news is I can't sew yet, I'm in training! Then my parents left for my grandfathers house in Virginia and we were soon to follow.

This is where one of my most favorite parts of Christmas begins. Every year since my Grandparents moved to Virginia over Thanksgiving and Christmas we go spend a couple of days up there. They live in a restored 1860's farmhouse on over 300 acres of land. My two aunts and all their kids come up as well and its pretty much like a huge family pajama party. We eat tons of food, watch silly movies and sit around in our pj's. This year without my Grandma there and one of my aunts having to leave early, made things seem kind of rushed. But there was still good family time to be had. Me and my two girl cousins always sleep in the same bedroom. For the past gazillion Christmas times this room has been freezing, there is no central heat so there is a wood fire below to heat up our room. But we still freeze, I mean last Christmas I could see my breath in the room. Low and behold Grandad hooked up his cold grandchildren with a new heater. We all slept very warm for once! And someone threw out a kitten at his house and its so cute and friendly that he decided to keep it and we all enjoyed playing with it. And then it was time to come home. I was home alone for a while on Sunday night, sleepy and looking up at the Christmas tree. There was still wrapping paper in the living room and still good leftovers in the fridge, all signs of a great Christmas.

2004-12-17T07:39:00.000-08:00

Feliz Navi DUD!

So I have a confession to make: I am not feeling very "Christmasy" this year. I don't know if its too much going on like my Grandmother just passing away or what but this is the first year everything has caught up with me! When I was in high school and even college there was this timeline going on in my head that had a clear defining moment of when school ended and the Christmas season began. I had weeks off to goof off and go shopping and bake, oh how good I had it! Now it seems like I work, try to buy presents on the weeknights and Saturdays which means I'm either tired when I'm shopping or I am annoyed with the great amounts of people at the stores. It just isn't the same anymore. I haven't even got out my favorite Christmas cd's yet. At work we have had Christmas music playing since early November, and the station plays the same set of songs every hour.
So today I grabbed one of my favorite Christmas cd's and started listening to it on the way into work and just stopped thinking about everything and really let the words and music in the songs kind of sweep over me. I have so many things to be thankful for this year. I think in a few days I will finally be able to say that I am ready for Christmas time. I pray...

2004-12-09T13:35:00.000-08:00

Who let what dogs out???

Last night I went to my gym. I am in the dressing room and the music they have playing is that terrible song "who let the dogs out." Except its not the real singers, its on one of those cds where its popular songs but sung by generic people. Crazy. How is this going to help me work out?? The next song was even better, I believe it was Madonna's "ray of light" but not Madonna singing.... I give up! I really need an Ipod I guess.

My other story about the sad state of music is when I was flipping through tv the other night I came across a commercial of "kids sing hits." I at first thought it was on mad tv but no, there is really a cd of kids singing Britney Spears and Usher songs. I don't know about you but hearing little kids singing "toxic" was enough for me at first to laugh and then think what are kids doing singing about that kind of crap? And if you're a parent are you thrilled with the idea of your 4 year old running around singing about getting your groove on? I think not.

2004-12-02T13:38:00.000-08:00

Learning from the past

Both of my Grandmothers meant the world to me but in very different ways. One was very loving and bubbly while the other rather reserved yet extremely down to earth. Both have made such an impact on my life that I felt necessary to share just briefly what I have learned from both.

Both of them lost a parent at a very young age. My Grandma Mullis lost her mother when electricity hit her standing at the kitchen window and my Grandma Dixon lost her father when a sledge hammer sprung back and killed him. Because of this both have been very attached to their families.

My Grandmother Dixon will always be remembered anytime I'm in the kitchen. She was a caterer and everything she made was excellent. She taught me that cooking is fun and its really a ministry to others. She was always helping make wedding food or rehearsal dinners and I occasionally helped out. When she got sick and she couldn't cook anymore you could just see the pain in her eyes because she really loved to cook more than anything. She also quilted and my most precious treasure in my room is my double wedding ring quilt she made me for my 16th birthday. She was determined to make all her granddaughters a quilt for their 16th birthday and she accomplished this goal. I will always hear her voice in my head saying, "Shelby Marie" as she would give you the biggest hug and kiss on the cheek. I could go on and on about how wonderful she was to me.

My Grandmother Mullis was an elementary school teacher for like a million years. Although she was not as lovey dovey as my other Grandma I can see more similarities with her personality and mine. She kept me most summers when my parents had to work and I would help her do chores and then get to go swing on the big wooden swing attached to their big oak tree. I don't remember much about those summers other than knowing that she would like to stop around 12:30 to watch her soaps and she would tell me that they were just trash on tv but she still like them! I'll also remember taking her to get her hair done when I was able to drive. She would put cotton in both her ears so water wouldn't run into them at the beauty parlor. However she did this as we were driving down the road and then she would ask you a question and you'd talk and she couldn't hear what you were saying. Priceless fun!

It was weird during Thanksgiving to not have them both around. Its like being in two familiar settings and seeing flashbacks in your head of past Thanksgivings with them there. They were there, just in my memories and thoughts and prayers that I could be half the woman both of them were.

2004-11-23T10:10:00.000-08:00

Oh my life, is changing everyday, every possible way...

I haven't had time to really process what has been going on with me. Maybe one day this week I will post about it. But my Grandmother passed away on Friday night at the age of 95! So I have lost both grandmothers within 6 months of each other. The holidays are upon us and its going to be so weird in both situations. There will be a lot of firsts this year. I'm happy to say that both my Grandmothers lived very full and happy lives. I have learned so much from them both. They will be missed.

2004-11-18T08:53:00.000-08:00

Things to look forward to....

I was out Christmas shopping last night and ended up at the shoe store. I was returning boots but decided that since I was there I would try on some more shoes. There was a husband and wife in the shoe store and the wife was obviously very pregnant. She was adorable and she was trying to find shoes for her very swollen feet. She was walking around in these flip flops and her feet were coming out of them! Plus its cold so I could feel her pain. Her husband was being very understanding and was calling out, "Honey what about these?" And then she would wobble over and try them on. I was just casually noticing their interaction and wow what a shopping team! So they ended up in front of me in line and I have never seen a woman so excited about shoes as she was. She was smiling from ear to ear and she told the cashier that finally her feet could be warm and comfortable. I've said it before, nothing can make your day like a great pair of shoes!

2004-11-12T07:11:00.000-08:00

"I must release you for I've given plenty."

My last post I mentioned a girl who's fiance had called things off. This girl has really been on my mind this week and for reasons other than the obvious. I learned that she is still hoping and praying that he will change his mind and come running back to her. She still wears the diamond he gave her even though he hasn't called or done anything to give her validity to this. I am torn about the whole thing. I went through a rough break-up about five years ago and I am trying to go back to that place and give her some advice. But what if my advice is not really what she wants to hear right now.
I remember after my then boyfriend broke up with me telling myself that we could still be friends. He actually wanted that and kind of in my opinion led me around for a whole summer. The truth of the matter was that I was still holding out hope that he would realize during this "friends" stage that he couldn't live without me and would magically run into my arms. This is what really happened: he met another girl, started dating her and I was left with an even bigger broken heart. I remember during that "friends" stage two people giving me excellent advice that I eventually listened to. One being a good friend from college telling me that I was fooling myself by hanging out with him still and still allowing him to have the best of both worlds. She told me to quit seeing him on the weekends and do my own thing, try to establish my own identity without him. My dad also told me that there is no such thing as "friends" when one of you is still in love with the other one. In other words my intentions were clearly to not really be friends.
Eventually I heeded their advice and moved on. It was the worst time of my life but also the best time of my life. I suddenly had all this time to focus on myself and get things right within myself.
So I guess I am confused as to what to say to this girl now because it looks like she is not really letting go. I'm worried for her. One one hand its none of my business and she can do whatever she wants. On another hand I feel like she deserves so much more and want to help her move on with her life. But if thats not what she wants then theres not much I can do. Except pray...

2004-11-10T13:50:00.000-08:00

Awkwardness: My middle name

This past week I learned some dis-heartening news about a couple at my church who were about to get married this spring. Apparently he decided to call things off and she is left broken-hearted. I am good friends with her family and knew I was going to see her at church on Sunday. I have come to realize that I am the queen of not knowing what to say to people. Even if I can relate to what they are going through. I think I did ok but I decided to write her a letter instead of leaving her with the words I said to her. I have never been good at knowing what to say to people at funerals or when someone is depressed or any of those sad events. Its like my tongue gets so twisted and all that comes out just seems so petty and weird. I have got to practice my sympathy vocabulary! That sounds really dumb but I am so much better at writing how I feel than telling someone how I feel. I've been like that since forever. For instance I would much rather e-mail someone bad news than have to call them and hear their voice on the phone. Its almost a defense mechanism. Its sad I know but I hate having to communicate bad news with spoken words, I would much rather write them!
Heres my other issue: How do you portray your true feelings of remorse without sounding un-caring or overly emotional? There is a fine fine line between sounding like you care and sounding super fake. I'm always scared that what I say will portray that I don't care or that my words will leave the person feeling like I can't relate to how their feeling. When in truth I just don't know what to say so I say either very little or go into nervous talking. I just hate it! I know with time and experience it will get easier but I wish I had the gift of gab sometimes...

2004-10-27T11:52:00.000-07:00

"You can do magic.."

This past weekend I realized two essential truths about my personal likes/dislikes:
1. I HATE clowns.
2. I am not very fond of magicians.

I have been involved with the puppet team at my church since I was about 10 years old. Now I am the co-leader and its something I really enjoy. Well this past weekend I attended a "puppet conference." It was pretty good as usual, giving you and your team ideas that you could take back home. On Saturday afternoon everyone got to see a husband/wife team do "Christian Illusion." Which in my terms is turning cheesy magic into object lessons that focus on God. I thought it was horrible. But I'm no fan. I realize that these people really minister to children and adults with this kind of thing but I just find it dumb. Putting scarves into a hat and pulling out different colors, its all just silly to me. Now as I was explaining to someone that I didn't like magic or magic tricks and that I didn't like CLOWNS the guy on the stage pulled out a scarf with you guessed it, a big clown head on it!! I about freaked out.

Now I have heard of people who are legitimately scared of clowns for whatever reasons. If they've ever watched "It" I would understand why. Its not that I'm scared of clowns, I just don't understand their purpose. They have never made me laugh or even snicker and usually you can find them bugging the life out of someone at a fair trying to make them a balloon animal!
I just have never appreciated their role in children's entertainment. I would be happy the rest of my life if I never had to look at a clown again!!

So beware clowns out there, do not come near me. And magicians if you ever call me up on the stage, you had better seriously cut me in half!

2004-10-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

Fall...

I don't know what it is about this time of year but I love it and I hate it! I love how the air smells, crisp and cool. I love being at football games and snuggling under a blanket. I love having fires and seeing the leaves change colors. What I hate is how depressed I feel due to lack of daylight. I never understood how much I need sunlight until I started working. You leave and its almost daylight, you come home and its almost dark. So you try your best to go outside at lunch. Which I do confess does help, but I really never understood just how important those couple of hours of daylight a day could make such a difference.

I had gotten into a fairly good habit of coming home after work and eating dinner then going to the park to run/walk. Well now it seems like when I come home all I want to do is sit on the couch and sit and do nothing. I am bound and determined to overcome this because I feel horrible not exercising or getting anything productive done! I don't really think I have anything to be depressed about, its just this weird tired/sad feeling when I come home that makes me not want to do anything. Its funny how I can sit here and write this and realize how me being sad and not doing anything is my choice, but when I come home I feel like if I don't sit on that couch I will collapse! So tonight instead of heading home I am going to the gym, tricking my body into doing something productive. We'll see if it works!

On a sidenote I just got Chris Thile's new cd Deceiver and its pretty good. Very very different music for him. Its jazzy, folky, a little bit of every kind of music. Lyrically it hasn't grabbed me yet but I need to listen to it more!

2004-10-13T13:02:00.000-07:00

Life is a stage...

Today I was thinking about how true it is that your life resembles one huge production on stage. There are people who are main characters and people who are definitely behind the scenes. Its amazing to me how fate and God's timing work in your life without you ever realizing it. Take for example the people you know only because you went to a certain school, chose to work a certain job or go to a certain church. Its really amazing and beautiful how God orchestrates these people in and out of your life.

It also makes me wonder what would happen if say didn't transfer to UNCC after two years at UNCG. Or what if I had taken another job when I graduated. Would I have a totally different life now? Would I be happier now or would I just be miserable? I know you shouldn't always try to imagine what would have been because you may not be appreciative of the blessings you have currently but I can't help but think what would have happened if I had made different choices. I'm not saying I would trade anything because if I had I would have never have met the wonderful people who are in my life now but would there be different wonderful people had I have taken a different path??

Just thoughts for a rainy Wednesday afternoon.....

2004-10-12T13:33:00.000-07:00

My days in the Big Easy

Day two and three and four of my vacation were spent in one of my favorite cities: New Orleans. There is just something about the smells, food, and people that just make that place so wonderful. We stopped on the way to New Orleans at the state line because Jeremy begged us to stop because fool had drank like a 2 liter of coffee. Anyways we stop and they have a huge wall of literature of hotels and excursions of New Orleans. We have no place to stay so I am looking at hotels when one hits my eye. Its called the Saint Marie and its located 1/2 block from Bourbon Street. Plus theres a green sticker on the front that states $49/ night Sunday through Thursday. Well its Sunday so I call and they have a vacancy. Well we are all thinking there has got to be some catch to this deal but we pulled up and the lady grabbed it and hid it because it is known as the "Visitor Center Special." So we stayed in New Orleans for $49 a night in a really nice hotel complete with courtyard, bar and pool!!

We did the touristy things, ghost tour, swamp tour, jazz band. But everything just turned out really well. We even became friends with the homeless! I ate the most amazing food of my life, including blackened alligator bites which were super tasty! I just don't know of any other city where you can drink, eat like a king, and listen to great music 24 hours a day. Its just an amazing city. After New Orleans we packed our bags and headed to our original destination of Pensacola, Florida. My mom wanted me to take storm damage photos but I knew better!

2004-10-11T13:35:00.000-07:00

Back to life, back to reality...

Well I have been back from my vacation now for one week. And what a vacation it was! I am finally ready to write about all the fun adventures that were had. Hurricane Ivan tried to stop my big plans but he didn't succeed! The adventure began with my fiance', and our favorite couple who were brave enough to go on a week long vacation with us! How many trips have you ever been on where you get in the car and have no idea where you're staying or where you're eating or anything? This is my first experience "flying by the seat of my pants" and I will have to admit it was the best plan or non-plan ever! We got in the car after the men packed up all the suitcases we headed south towards Biloxi, Mississippi. After a 10 hour ride we arrived in the land of casinos. I have never been in a real casino so I was kind of excited about gambling! We were so tired that we just decided to stay at the first hotel that was reasonable and had room available. We found, THE PRESIDENT casino hotel. And boy if I were the president, I would never ever stay there. It was full of elderly, two elevators not in service and decor from the late 70's. Our room even smelled like Grandma's basement.

So we freshen up and head over to the casino. I have never seen such sad and weird people in my life. These people look like they live in the casino and spend all their paychecks here for fun. I had decided to spend $20 tops on whatever I wanted. So I chose the slot machines. I would win $5 then loose $7. My dad had told me that if I wanted to gamble I might as well take my $20 and throw it out the window. And you wonder why I'm labeled a fun killer?! So I realized that gambling is not really my thing. But the casino did offer a quality live band called "THE OASIS" and the female lead singer even played an electric piano/guitar thing just like RockStar Barbie!! What a night. So we heard that the casino offered a quality continental breakfast complete with cereals! Well we ate breakfast packed our bags and headed for New Orleans where Jeremy's idea to pick up literature came in way handy....

2004-09-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

"Santa, my wish is to make it stop."

Shelby's Pet Peeve of the week: OUR RADIO STATION AT WORK IS FOR REAL PLAYING A CHRISTMAS SONG THIS MOMENT!! What the heck?? Don't get me wrong, I am one of those people that really loves Christmas music, shopping, the whole deal but in September?? Its just plain pissing me off.

My second pet peeve: Hurricane Ivan is stalking me. He ruins my original vacation plans and pours rain upon my home. Now after hearing that I have moved my vacation a week he has re-formed himself ready to meet with me in New Orleans. When I see him, I will not be nice. He has cost me one week of living with the Weather Channel, so it ends now. So Ivan, I'll be the girl with the Hurricane in her right hand and the beads around my neck on Bourbon Street ready to meet you.....

2004-09-16T07:05:00.000-07:00

"Vacation ALL I ever Wanted..."

This is how my week has been: I haven't been on vacation in over two years. My uncle has a condo in Pensacola Florida. I choose September 17th as my date to leave....Hurricane Ivan decides he wants to go to Florida before I get there. = DISASTER VACATION!! I have spent this week on edge basically because we didn't know if we should cancel or just go. As of today we have decided to wait a couple of weeks and try again. I actually was so disappointed last night I cried! I am trying to be a big person here and learn how to deal with this news. You plan a vacation and are all ready to go and enjoy yourself and bam nature steps in and says "Ha Ha, you will have to work two more weeks before your vacation." I know there is a reason for me not getting to go as planned. But last night those reasons were not clear!

Here is how I have come to know the American Vacation. We as Americans basically work our butts off except for two weeks out of the year. There is a tremendous amount of pressure on those two weeks to be "perfect". We want perfect weather, perfect activities, perfect meals, etc... All these ways we try to strive for the perfect vacation and then it rains all week or someone gets sick or something. Its almost enough to not even bother with vacation! I propose that vacationing requires a pre-vacation time. Two or three days off before you leave so you can actually be rested, packed and prepared to have this perfect week. I can't even imagine vacationing with children because then its not only packing for them but making sure that the activities you've planned to do while on vacation are fun and memory makers! My dad always tried to at least let me play a few rounds of miniature golf or win a $50 stuffed animal with my arcade coupons. Its those memories that you are wanting to create for your vacation. And do you really come back from vacation energized? Rearin' to go back to work that Monday after vacation can almost make you have a panic attack during vacation!

So yes I am not going on vacation next week...thanks IVAN! We'll try for the perfect vacation in two more weeks!

2004-09-13T13:20:00.000-07:00

"Then sings my soul....."

Yesterday I went to my cousin's Eagle Scout Award Ceremony at his church. I grew up in a Presbyterian church until I was eight years old. My mom then decided that she needed a change of pace and we started going to a non-denomination church. Yesterday being back in the Presbyterian church and singing old hymns and listening to the organ play, I thought about how much I missed this element of church. My grandfather was also there yesterday and he loves to sing. He sings in his church choir and I have always loved hearing him sing hymns. Its like a little piece of heaven right here on earth. Speaking of my grandfather this is why he is by far the very best: He still wears his hair in a crew-cut style, fresh back from basic training (he was in WWII). He loves to drink wine and offers you a fresh glass whenever possible! He loved my grandmother so much, even though they had their little quarrels he always kissed her before leaving to go anywhere. He always hugs you so tight you feel like you are the safest person on earth. He is the most precious grandfather around!

I also did a lot of thinking about September 11th this weekend. I watched an HBO documentary about the whole thing and I re-lived it and was so emotional Friday night I did finally cry before falling asleep. I will try to write about it sometime this week, I think it might help me deal with what happened, if thats even ever going to be possible..

2004-09-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

Magic Brownies

Last night for some reason I dreamed about being at a party and making this horrible mixed drink that involved vodka, brownies and chocolate syrup. Sounds lovely right?? The drink actually made me sick in my dream and I woke up this morning feeling nauseous. Its funny how a dream about food can make you physically sick to your stomach!! This is the second time this has ever happened to me. The first time involved McDonalds making a new burger called the Mint Burger. The bun, meat and sides were all mint flavored, and mint colored. This dream made me almost never want McDonalds for about two months.

So no more brownies for me for a good long while.....Seriously nauseous thinking about that God awful drink in my dream last night...time for lunch!!

2004-09-01T11:01:00.000-07:00

"Cry me a River"

This has been my emotional status today at its peak: at lunch I was at a busy intersection when I saw a turtle crossing the road. I dodged it and it had almost made it to the other side of the road but I don't know if the people behind me saw it.....I felt the tears coming up to my eyes. It was that poor turtle trying to cross a busy highway today that made me completely realize how emotional I was. I know I should have maybe stopped and tried to help him or at least wait until he was finished with his mission across the road but at the time I just didn't think of these things, I simply reacted.

I guess I will never know how on earth you can go to bed one night feeling super and fine and wake up the very next morning feeling like you will either cry or explode at the slightest thing. I am slowly learning that this is something that I have total control over, I can have control over my emotions but sometimes darn it I just want to be sad. Or angry. Or both. And I don't ever want to be that girl that blames all her moods on PMS but yes there are times when that does play a big part in how I feel. Ask any girl, she'll tell you, its not fun or pretty!

Well I sure hope that turtle made it across the road, and I sure hope this funk of a sad feeling I've got will go away....

2004-08-25T13:33:00.000-07:00

"Something's changed today and what it is I just can't say"

I have been having recurring dreams lately about one of my best friends from high school. We were so close during high school and lost touch with each other right after my junior year of college. Its really odd how it all just sort of faded away like it really was a dream that I even knew her! Her family just experienced a great loss, their home burned down and it was in the newspaper and the most horrible feeling of guilt came upon me because I can't even tell you her address or even what she's up to. The last I heard she was living in Atlanta going to grad school but thats been over two years ago. I often wonder what makes a lasting relationship between friends? I mean why do some people stay very dominant parts of your life while others just seem to fade away?

I have been so blessed with awesome friends basically my whole life. I am only still in touch on a semi-regular basis with two friends from high school, the rest of my friends are from college. I just read a girl I went to high school's wedding announcement and all her bridesmaids were names I remember from high school. It just ended up being that my college friends are who I am super comfortable being around. I think being in college and going through those first couple of years away from home can just make you bond to people on a deeper level, plus you're living with them.

Jeremy is going through a new phase with his best friend of many years. I am trying to be there for him when basically someone he's known for his whole life is just changing drastically and making interesting decisions right before our eyes.

Being a good friend is something I hope that I have been, am and will be.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up, But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"
~Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

2004-08-17T07:51:00.000-07:00

"Get in Shape Girl"

I have really been on a fitness kick. I am trying super hard to get back in shape for my vacation which means bathing suits and photos that will last a lifetime. So this morning I did something horrid. I woke up at 5:55 am and went for a run in the dark. I thought I could do it, I really thought when that alarm went off I would jump for joy and say yes, I would love to go run. What actually happened was me looking at the time, then asking myself if this was really something I wanted to do. So I made my body get up and put on running clothes and went outside. In the dark I tried to run and make sense of the fact that my head was still asleep while my feet and legs were moving. I finished at about 6:25 am with sweat running down my face and a feeling that yes I had worked out today but it wasn't very pretty. I think my run was more like a quick walk. My walk more like a senior citizen at Wal-mart.

I do actually feel a bit more "fit" today but my mind is still asleep in the bed. Ask me if I'll ever wake up again and try to run again.....I don't think its my calling.

On a side note does anyone remember the get in shape girls? When I was like 7 or 8 it was like fitness clothes, mainly leg warmers and weights for girls. They were either pink or purple and came with a tape to play with good old 80's style music. Now if I had my pink legwarmers I think I could run 24 hours a day with straight up confidence!

2004-08-12T11:51:00.000-07:00

"Those were the best days of my life"

Today it is pouring rain out and its not going to stop until like Saturday. There are two hurricanes scheduled to dump massive amounts of rain on us and it looks like the next two days will be spent inside. When I was in college I loved days like this probably because I could actually sit around for hours during the day and enjoy the rainy weather. I like to be a hermit sometimes.

I started reading this book by Erik Larson about the hurricane that killed over 6,000 people in Galveston Texas in 1900. It has got me a little pre-occupied with how weather really affects life's little moments. It even makes moments magical at times. My grandmother's funeral was magical. I say that only because it was in the mountains at this beautiful old white country church. As we were walking out to the gravesite it started snowing and the ground was covered in a nice blanket of snow. As the preacher finished praying, the sun peeked out just for a second as if Grandma was saying its going to be ok. Then it continued to gently snow the remainder of the day. It just fit the mood of the whole funeral to be snowing that day. I was cold and sad but around so many people I love who would huddle around you to keep you warm. I will never forget that day for as long as I live.

I can also remember my first night in the dorms at UNCG when the heat almost made me go batty and think what have I got myself into? Our dorm room was on the third floor of this old dorm built in I think the 1920's. No air condition allowed unless you had a "doctors" note. Needless to say in August it was like 98 degrees and after moving two car loads full of essential goods up three flights of stairs everyone was drenched. That first night we set up our fans in the window and slept on top of our covers because our room was like a sauna! If it had been cold, I don't think it would have been nearly as much fun!

Maybe its because my parents love to talk weather or maybe its just because of this book I'm reading but I feel a career in being a weather girl coming on!

2004-08-09T07:14:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the new Shelby

Since Thursday I have had done two things that I swore I wouldn't do in a long time. The first thing I did was to cut my hair on accident to above my shoulders. The second thing I did was lay in a tannng bed.

So the hair deal is growing on me, its not scary short its just a nice change. Jeremy likes it so all is well with the world. He said it was like getting a new girlfriend, I said it was like getting a new "boyfriend". Its made me think why I didn't do it sooner....

I'm still trying to justify laying in the tanning bed. Ever since high school I have ridiculed and judged all girls who in mid December looked like they had been living in Key West the whole year. Plus the fact that I know of at least two women who have gotten skin cancer because of their need to keep a tan. My reasoning is simply I don't want to fry when I go on vacation in September so I thought I would tan the month leading up to my vacation. Sounds smart right? My skin is pale, due mostly to the fact that I haven't seen sun since college days when I actually had the time and energy to "lay out". Now I'm only home two days on the weekends when I could actually go lay out and then I don't feel like it. The funny thing is I am actually excited about becoming tan. With my new haircut I will somehow be transformed before my eyes!

I'm suddenly realizing that I am sitting here writing about tanning and my haircut. I need a vacation!!

2004-08-05T09:09:00.000-07:00

When oh when...
The past few weeks some old insecurities have been creeping around my door. I have found myself in serious doubts about who I am as a person. Am I smart enough, am I pretty enough... I really don't even understand where they are stemming from except the uneasiness I have about my job right now. Its funny to think you've conquered some thoughts about yourself and realize that you haven't really done anything other than suppress them momentarily. Will there ever come a day when I am totally satisfied with myself? My guess is probably not ever. Not to sound like I am depressed or anything its just that monster of self-doubt has really been polluting my brain. And deep down I truly know that I am not the things I have been thinking but its like sometimes I can't get them to shut-up in my head!
You can tell someone 50 times a day that she's pretty, or she's smart but until she believes it herself it is doing no good. I don't mean to sound so serious today, there are other people with greater issues going on in their lives right now and all I can do is whine about how I don't "feel" pretty or smart.....just life I guess.

2004-08-04T11:49:00.000-07:00

The million dollar question

So ever since I got engaged, the question I have probably heard over 100 times is, "when is the big day?" To which I don't have a good answer to, probably due to the fact that it took us four years to get this far, do you really think we're going to plot out a DATE this soon. I understand and am so glad that people actually care about the small details of my life but its the age old game of ruining a moment by asking people when they are going to do this, when are they going to do that. I have sworn up and down that from now on I will never ask these questions to anyone:
1. When are you getting married?
2. When are you going to have a baby?
3. When are you going to retire?
4. When are you going to die? (ok so this was the next progression in the question line)

If you ask me the above questions I will not get mad or upset I will just understand that you are just inquisitive about my life and usually mean no harm but after a while the questions just seep into that part of your emotions that ball up anger and annoyance and will one day upon the right person combust. So am I getting married, yes. When is the big day? Probably next year......Am I in a hurry? No. Do I love answering questions? oh yeah!

2004-08-02T12:34:00.000-07:00

Havana daydreaming..

So I have been neglecting my writing for the past few weeks due to my total brain power being devoted to my job. I have really been dealing with the fact that I am not so sure that I like doing this anymore. Last week was like hell on earth. I cried on the way home twice last week. Is this what life is all about? I realize that I was extra emotional last week and there was additional stress on everyone last week so my resentment towards the whole thing is probably just me over reacting. But I am just craving to get away from this place.. So call me stupid but I haven't been on vacation in (gulp) two YEARS! I am going on vacation in September to Florida and driving to New Orleans which will hopefully give me a much needed insight to my current hate towards all things associated with my job! I have also fed the idea of running away when I go on vacation and living somewhere on the gulf of Mexico, just leaving all this work fun here and starting over. I am way too chicken to actually ever do this but its fun to think of it as I sit here and price metal by the pounds, feet, and inch.

So I guess I am in need of just some down time, its my fault for not taking a true vacation last year and now I am feeling the consequences...next time I will not be so silly. And I need to quit listening to Buffett! It makes me crave the beach so bad I can't stand it!

2004-07-15T07:24:00.000-07:00

"Mom, this food is wierd!"

Over the past few years I have come to the realization that my mother is "out of the box"! My mother has always been super creative, always interested in the latest cooking gadgets, recipes, magazines. Nothing is past her limits to what she will do to cook something she saw on tv. Instead of meat and potatoes like my dad likes she would serve couscous rice and some wierd lemon fish. So you can imagine what dishes my mother takes to church functions. Yes she is the lady that brings the food that everyone looks at and goes, "what is that?" Its not bad tasting food its just different than meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

Don't get me wrong she occasionally does cook regular comfort food but when she finds a new recipe she goes all out. For instance, she decided to make paella so she drives all over town to find the exact spices that she will need. If she doesn't have the proper bowl/dish to serve up this paella she will go and buy it just so the table looks authentic. At times when I was in elementary school I would get sad when she would cook not because it wouldn't be good but because it wasn't "normal" food to my friends. If I told them about the amazing greek salad my mother made with olives and feta cheese they would squint up their faces and think that my family eats gross food!

But I was really the winner looking back. I cannot think of one month where my mother fixed the same meal twice. And she opened my eyes and taste buds up to all sorts of neat foods that no one else could say that they had tasted. Plus she introduced me to cool kitchen gadgets that are really nifty and come in hand. Its sad to admit that it has taken me this long to realize just how cool my mother really is.

2004-07-09T12:45:00.000-07:00

BRUCE LUCAS MEETS THE WORLD

So in my last entry I mentioned a Cabbage Patch kid named Bruce Lucas. I know what you are sitting there thinking, why is Shelby talking about a cabbage patch kid? Well Bruce Lucas is kind of the stuffed animal that I will never get away from.

He is my boyfriend oh excuse me fiance's cabbage patch kid from his childhood. When I first got to know Jeremy he introduced me to Bruce Lucas one night as we were talking about toys/things we used to play with growing up. Jeremy jumps up and says that he wants me to meet his cabbage patch kid Bruce Lucas. Ok yes a 22 year old man still has his first cabbage patch kid and he even remembers its name. I meet Bruce Lucas and fall in love with his bald head and athletic jogging suit. He is simply the most adorable cabbage patch kid I've ever seen! So Jeremy decides that he is going to start taking Bruce Lucas with us everywhere we go. We go out to eat, Bruce Lucas goes too. We go to the beach, there's Bruce strapped in his seat belt in the back seat of the car. Man people love to see Bruce sitting in the back seat without a child safety seat! So at one point we tried to keep track of all the states we have taken Bruce Lucas, we have pics of him at the Virginia state line and at his favorite park.

But I will never ever forget the look of puzzlement I got from oncoming traffic one day when Jeremy decided to moon people with Bruce Lucas! They didn't know whose butt they were looking at! And when they found out it was a Cabbage Patch kid, they just laughed. It was like a bad episode of Mad TV.

At my friend Kari's rehearsal dinner, Jeremy I think told several members of her family about Bruce Lucas. He is now expected to be part of our nuptials. I sure hope he can keep his pants pulled up! There is no telling what the future holds for Bruce Lucas, I know he will forever be a part of mine!

2004-07-07T10:04:00.000-07:00

A diamond is finally my best friend!
Well I had a pretty good time in "Amish" country. I know I haven't written in a while so I will fill in the gaps of my exciting news!
Two Saturdays ago my boyfriend of four years took me up on top of a mountain and got down on his knees and asked me to marry him! And oh yes there was a ring involved and it is beautiful and very me I think. Please stop those tears of joy that are streaming down your face right now! The best part was being somewhere very special to me because its where my Grandparents live and its a very magical place and as Jeremy says:"I asked you to marry me in Virginia because hey Virginia is for LOVERS!" And sharing the news with my Grandfather who by the way acts like a big teenager when he's with Jeremy, was a very special thing. They have nicknames for each other and everything. I swear they could be a comedy routine.
So the next question on your list is: Shelby when is the big day? So far no date, I mean it took me four years to get here you think my wedding day will be any different. Will it be in four years? Not likely, more like a year. And yes Kari, Bruce Lucas will be there to share the special day with us! (Bruce Lucas for those who don't know is a Cabbage Patch kid, I think I'll write about him very soon)!
Life is changing around me fast, I complained at one time about how slowly it was crawling and now it has hit at least 45 mph. I am a happy girl. Now you are allowed to cry.
This could have been better but the A/C is broke at work today and creative words are dying fast in my brain!

2004-06-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

"Amish in the dark"
Today I am leaving to go see my grandfather in the mountains of Virginia. I am so excited because I haven't really been around him much since my grandmother passed away in February. He has been such a huge part of my life and it will be interesting to see what its like just hanging out with just him and not with grandma.
One of my favorite stories about him is when he took me and my friends to see Amish in the dark! Did you know that Amish really like to hang out in the dark? Anyways me and my friends went to visit my grandparents for the weekend and on Saturday night they took us all out to eat at their favorite Chinese restaurant called, "Charlie's" which is another story in itself. So after our exotic meal at Charlie's my friends start talking about wanting to see Amish people because they had never seen any and there is a settlement about 20 miles north of my Grandparent's house. Well my grandfather overheard all this talk about wanting to see Amish and he looked at his watch, and decided we are going now!
At this point I have to mention its around 7:30 pm in the summer and starting to get dark, using my fabulous physics skills which factor in my grandfather's driving habits equals getting over to Amish country around 8:30 pm. We think this is a joke, no joke we are going to see those Amish. So we drive and drive and drive to where the Amish live. Of course its dark and of coarse Amish have no electricity so we are basically looking at complete dark houses and anything that moves in the dark. Needless to say we saw no Amish that night but I bet they saw us!
To this day I love visiting that Amish settlement, but only if its dark! Is there any other way to see Amish?

2004-06-22T08:48:00.000-07:00

What's your life's ambition?
For the first time in my life I am interviewing people. Yes silly Shelby is actually being a grown-up and interviewing people for an assistants position. Do I feel incredibly dumb: Yes. Do I feel like I am still 14 again: Yes. For some reason I haven't and probably will never grasp the concept that I am maybe an adult now and have a gasp, career.
I guess the reason I feel so foolish interviewing people is my personal hatred of all interviews, resumes and the whole job search in general. I have been very blessed with my current job situation in that I didn't have to go through an extreme amount of silly interviewing and in my opinion worthless questions about my goals and dreams.
I did attempt about a year and a half ago to go on a job interview for an ad agency. The agency ran out of a lady's house. I guess I didn't really prepare for an interview with the ENTIRE company so I was blown away when I walked up the stairs and there is a desk full of people just ready to hear you answer their horrible questions. For the record I hate those questions like, "where do you see yourself in 10 years?, What are your career goals?, What are your strengths?" Who cares bottom line can you show up on time every day and work?? Yes there are proper answers that you should give and yes 99% of the correct answer will be BS. I know I should have prepared, I know I should have given them what they wanted to hear, instead I was honest, uncomfortable and said the completely wrong things.
After sitting at the head of a table full of ad women for about 30 minutes, I acquired what I like to call dizzy head. I was so tired of talking about my "dreams" my "goals" that I totally didn't even ask them about what the job actually was. So as I was leaving I got to know the women a little better and they seemed less intimidating.
So go to today, I am trying my hardest to not make these people feel intimidated (as if I could ever be that way) or ask them if their life's goals are to be around metal and look at metal and yes love the metal. I am just trying my best and I think my dad said if I tried my best then no one could say I did a bad job.....

2004-06-16T13:24:00.000-07:00

"Deal Breakers"
I was listening to a radio chat this week and the subject was deal breakers, which in hip 2004 lingo means, "reasons why you didn't go back out with someone." For example, you are on your first big date with some really hunky guy, he comes to pick you up and he's wearing sweat pants or a leisure suit with socks and sandals. Deal Breaker. So this got me thinking...what were some of my deal breakers.
I was on I believe my third date with a certain guy when he declared to me in a pretty serious manner that he was going to be famous one day. And that he KNEW in his heart that this was to be his "destiny". The concept in my mind fell through the cracks as I thought about what he would actually be famous doing...umm I couldn't think of one thing that was honestly "famous" about him. And so now I was expected to react to this statement, to which I think I politely responded with something like, "um wow thats really neat, going to be famous and all." The bells rang, the umpire ran across the field and said, "GAME OVER."
Second situation, second date with a guy, went over to his parents house with him, his mom is doing something I guess he doesn't agree with. So he YELLS at his mom, rolls the eyes at her the whole I'm way too cool for my mom deal. Deal Breaker #1. I actually experienced two with him. The second deal breaker came in his apparent love of extremely Heavy Metal. No not steel plates but actual cd covers with vampires and girls tied up on the cover. And when asked how he even knew this existed he replied, "well I just got where I needed heavier and heavier music..." DEAL BREAKER!!
So anyways I was just wondering if anyone else had had these moments with possible love interests where they do or say something or wear something that in your mind seals the deal that there is no way I will ever be in a relationship with them again.... Just wondering...

2004-06-14T12:33:00.000-07:00

All that you can't leave behind

This weekend I had some much needed girl talk. And I mean good girl talk! Girl talk is something so necessary to my sanity sometimes! I have friends that know me and then I have friends that KNOW me.
I never realized how good I had it in college until the past couple of months. College is the one place where you have girl friends around you 99% of the time. My freshman year I not only inherited a roommate but a hall full of girls, all of us ready to share our stories and become friends. Being an only child I embraced this situation because it was the first time in my life where I had "sisters". I could go to their rooms at anytime and we could talk/hangout for hours. Looking back I don't think I appreciated the significance it had on my life. Now I long sometimes just to be able to walk across the hall and there would be all my best friends in the whole world.
Needless to say, time and distance have kept me from being as close to some of those girls as I would like. The daily grind of life has been substituted for giving them a call and seeing what they are up to. I understand that if I want that closeness now it is going to have to be a constant priority because its not easy anymore to just walk across the hall and talk to them.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about the girl friends I have and how overwhelmingly blessed I have been to have them. Each one adds so much value and beauty to my life. I hope that I will continue to strive to be the friend that they need.

2004-06-09T11:20:00.000-07:00

Shel-BAY AKA Ebay queen
The past two years I have been buying/selling on Ebay quite frequently. I have been amazed at what I have been able to sell and what I have gotten off of it. It has become my hobby, the thing that makes me happy to go home and do. I know I sound like I could do an infomercial about it but its almost my addiction. '
Take for instance the time I sold a fake Kate Spade bag I had bought from somewhere for $40 and I put in on Ebay and sold it for over $100 and it was over a year old!! Or the shirt I got at a factory store for $16 and sold it on Ebay almost two years old for $30!! It simply amazes me. You know the feeling you get at a yard sale when someone gives you money for your junk and you know that you are never going to miss that item and now you have all this "mad" cash? Well thats the rush I get when I sell my "junk".
I also love finding gifts/items for other people. My mother loves Scotty dogs and I have found several really unique scotty figures on Ebay and she loves them!! I also have bought items for people at my job and it makes me happy to engage others in my addiction!
Lately I have been thinking about taking my passion for Ebay and doing something with it. Like teaching people how to Ebay or selling other people's stuff for them and taking a profit. I don't think I could ever quit my day job and just sell on Ebay but it sure would be fun...