My former self

I found out recently that I almost had a run-in at a church party youth home-coming type thing with my ex boyfriend. You know the one who broke my heart in a 100 pieces! Doesn't everyone have one of those?? Anyways what was funny about the whole situation is that number one he didn't show when he RSVP'd and that my mother knew about him coming and chose not to tell me because her reasoning was that I am a grown adult now. What?? I've been thinking a lot about this whole situation and I'm not afraid or wierded out by talking to him, what I'm afraid of is re-visiting my old self. I'm afraid of going back down memory lane because I didn't like myself when I was with him. Its funny how it totally has nothing to do with him it has to do with me. I owe that boy like a million apologies for a lot of behaviors that he had to deal with, but we were in high school and early college so some of it is expected but I behaved in ways looking back I am extremely embarrased about. So seeing him would remind me of that old person, and that was what I was scared about. So I think the whole experience of me spending some good time recently thinking about how you grow up and change over the years and try to become the greatest you that you can be has really been good for me. I'm not where I want to be but by golly I have come so far from where I was then.