Keeping Up the Appearances of a Blog

Life as I have come to know it.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

On Changes...

For the past couple of years there have been very big parts of my life that I wish I could change. Well the motions of changing them have begun and as much as I wished I could change them that awful fear of change has come creeping into my heart. For as long as I have known my parents they have been planners. I bet my dad had his whole life planned out by age 18. He is just naturally a planner. Me on the other hand have that somewhat in my blood. I like to make plans and think about them but realize that they are guidelines and not real life. So this week I have made one step in the whole process of changing my life. And I will have to admit that while it felt good to set in motion those things, its also scary. Why do we fear change so much? I feel like an older person whose favorite cereal just added berries, thus making it different.
I know someone who recently switched jobs and moved to a new city. I thought about how I admire that in so many ways. This person was able to just up and leave everything familiar about life behind for something new. Could I do that? Do I have the guts to leave my everyday life for something more? Part of me could and then part of me says that it would be too hard and settle for what life is now. I wish I could be more easily adaptable to change. Its one of my goals for this year, to embrace change not run from it!

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