"Go and buy yourself some shoes"

I am 27 years old. At an age where it might be perfectly normal for me to want to have children. But it is SO not the right time right now. Come on, I've only been married 7 months! I have a wonderful friend who has had some difficulties in this area right there with me where we rejoice with friends when we find out they are pregnant but at the same time we are kind of sad because we know there will be a change in that relationship. So I have come up with the motto that whenever I am feeling that crazy sad woa is me feeling that I am without child I GO BUY NEW SHOES!! And no I am not spending thousands of dollars but yes when I need a little pick-me-up I head to Target or the mall and go buy some new shoes. It makes all that baby stuff suddenly dissapear because this is the only time in my life that I can spend money on myself in this way and guess what I should totally be enjoying that instead of wishing for dirty diapers. So in a couple of years when my child wonders why I own so many pairs of shoes I will be able to give them the reason that their mom just wanted to be a girl a little bit longer...

Re-living the Past...

Yesterday I did something shall we say really out of my comfort zone. I used to love playing slow-pitch softball. I played from the time I was 5 until I tried out for high school my sophmore year when the coach told me honestly that I made the team but because they had so many seniors and juniors that I was basically a seat warmer. So I quit and went to work! But I remember how awful those try-outs were. I was so scared and nervous. Oh yeah and I tripped in front of everyone.
Cut to yesterday in sunday school, a girl who I know but don't know terribly well said she was going to practice for a church league. (our church doesn't have enough people interested so we have to play for another church.) And I said, wow I would love to play again. So she called me and I went with her. I was a wreck yesterday afternoon before I went. It was like what did I do, I barely know her and now I have to go play with total strangers. And the fact that I haven't played in 10 years didn't make it any easier! But I had this tiny feeling of hope inside me that said that I would probably be ok and hey its free excercize. So I went and it was a little intimidating but I didn't do as bad as I thought I would. Yes I've got lots of work ahead of me! And I faced a fear that I don't think I would have a few years ago. Its nice to sometimes grow up when you're not even expecting to. Plus I'm sore today so I have constant reminders of what I got myself into!