"I must release you for I've given plenty."

My last post I mentioned a girl who's fiance had called things off. This girl has really been on my mind this week and for reasons other than the obvious. I learned that she is still hoping and praying that he will change his mind and come running back to her. She still wears the diamond he gave her even though he hasn't called or done anything to give her validity to this. I am torn about the whole thing. I went through a rough break-up about five years ago and I am trying to go back to that place and give her some advice. But what if my advice is not really what she wants to hear right now.
I remember after my then boyfriend broke up with me telling myself that we could still be friends. He actually wanted that and kind of in my opinion led me around for a whole summer. The truth of the matter was that I was still holding out hope that he would realize during this "friends" stage that he couldn't live without me and would magically run into my arms. This is what really happened: he met another girl, started dating her and I was left with an even bigger broken heart. I remember during that "friends" stage two people giving me excellent advice that I eventually listened to. One being a good friend from college telling me that I was fooling myself by hanging out with him still and still allowing him to have the best of both worlds. She told me to quit seeing him on the weekends and do my own thing, try to establish my own identity without him. My dad also told me that there is no such thing as "friends" when one of you is still in love with the other one. In other words my intentions were clearly to not really be friends.
Eventually I heeded their advice and moved on. It was the worst time of my life but also the best time of my life. I suddenly had all this time to focus on myself and get things right within myself.
So I guess I am confused as to what to say to this girl now because it looks like she is not really letting go. I'm worried for her. One one hand its none of my business and she can do whatever she wants. On another hand I feel like she deserves so much more and want to help her move on with her life. But if thats not what she wants then theres not much I can do. Except pray...

Awkwardness: My middle name

This past week I learned some dis-heartening news about a couple at my church who were about to get married this spring. Apparently he decided to call things off and she is left broken-hearted. I am good friends with her family and knew I was going to see her at church on Sunday. I have come to realize that I am the queen of not knowing what to say to people. Even if I can relate to what they are going through. I think I did ok but I decided to write her a letter instead of leaving her with the words I said to her. I have never been good at knowing what to say to people at funerals or when someone is depressed or any of those sad events. Its like my tongue gets so twisted and all that comes out just seems so petty and weird. I have got to practice my sympathy vocabulary! That sounds really dumb but I am so much better at writing how I feel than telling someone how I feel. I've been like that since forever. For instance I would much rather e-mail someone bad news than have to call them and hear their voice on the phone. Its almost a defense mechanism. Its sad I know but I hate having to communicate bad news with spoken words, I would much rather write them!
Heres my other issue: How do you portray your true feelings of remorse without sounding un-caring or overly emotional? There is a fine fine line between sounding like you care and sounding super fake. I'm always scared that what I say will portray that I don't care or that my words will leave the person feeling like I can't relate to how their feeling. When in truth I just don't know what to say so I say either very little or go into nervous talking. I just hate it! I know with time and experience it will get easier but I wish I had the gift of gab sometimes...